the 21st Blessing

the 21st Blessing We are a faith-based support group for Christian families with a loved one with Down syndrome or other special needs.

A Word About Behavior-----------------------Someone asked about tips on behavior.I feel that each individual is differen...
10/16/2025

A Word About Behavior
-----------------------

Someone asked about tips on behavior.

I feel that each individual is different, so there is no one key to addressing behaviors, plus whatever may externally motivate your child now to respond to appropriate behavior guidelines is likely to change randomly and frequently.

That said, I feel a key is to help your child know appropriate boundaries and expectations, and then help your daughter or son to transition from external motivation to personal ownership of making good choices, that is, to internal motivation… So ultimately and ideally she becomes the one choosing to be kind, to follow directions, to be respectful, and to take care of her stuff.

Having to correct your child instance by instance is crazy-making for you as well as for your child and others who are supporters or teachers. So many Do's and Don'ts!

So when my children were young (regardless of chromosome numbers) I had very few rules and the ones we did have were introduced to them gradually year by year.

I don’t have time to go into details, but here are our 5 family rules starting from birth:
1st year - Please Obey
2nd year - Be Kind
3rd Year - Be Respectful
4th year - Take care of your stuff
5th year - Do your best
(Note: This last one was later modified to >>Do your best to please God

Congratulations Eden for getting a perspectives article, "Down syndrome versus dementia" published in the journal of the...
06/20/2025

Congratulations Eden for getting a perspectives article, "Down syndrome versus dementia" published in the journal of the Alzheimer's Association in conjunction with your co-researcher work with Boston University's Down syndrome to the Max Team!

Click on the article title to read more.

We went through a period during high school in which my daughter Eden we telling me I was being "over-motherly."  So I s...
04/29/2024

We went through a period during high school in which my daughter Eden we telling me I was being "over-motherly." So I started setting up monthly mother daughter dates to go out for lunch and then I gave her a chance to grade me using this Parent Report Card, so she could let me know how I was doing as a mom and to highlight areas she wanted me to work on. We kept meeting on a monthly basis until I was able to make straight A's consistently -- I liked this approach because my daughter and I switched roles and she was encouraged to develop her voice...

March 21 ( or, 3-21) is World Down Syndrome Day because Down syndrome is characterized by having 3 (rather than two) cop...
03/22/2024

March 21 ( or, 3-21) is World Down Syndrome Day
because Down syndrome is characterized by having 3 (rather than two) copies of the 21st chromosome.

However, Down syndrome is more than just a genetic profile. It is a way of valuing people with an open, accepting heart, and of spreading infectious joy just because you are happy for someone else or just to be with someone you care about.

It is courageously growing into your gifts, the resulting strength from encountering obstacles with perseverance together with those you trust.

For these lessons and the other myriad ways she has impacted the lives of those around her (especially me!), I celebrate who my daughter Eden is and I wish you all a Happy Down Syndrome Day!
blessings,
Linda

My daughter-in-law, Hannah Rapp, who is on a post doc research fellowship at the Alberti Center for Bullying Abuse Preve...
03/02/2024

My daughter-in-law, Hannah Rapp, who is on a post doc research fellowship at the Alberti Center for Bullying Abuse Prevention at U Buffalo, gave a colloquium talk this week, and here are a few parent resources she shared.

I am enjoying reading Lorna Bradley's , especially in its emphasis of the importance of networking with other like-minde...
02/24/2024

I am enjoying reading Lorna Bradley's , especially in its emphasis of the importance of networking with other like-minded families in the church context. Here is a three slide summary of her argument. Read the Pink highlight first, then the Yellow, and then the blue.

Announcing The 21st Blessing Forum + Blog Site Re-launch!In 2004 I started The 21st Blessing, a Yahoogroup for families ...
10/25/2020

Announcing The 21st Blessing Forum + Blog Site Re-launch!

In 2004 I started The 21st Blessing, a Yahoogroup for families of faith with a loved one with Down syndrome or other developmental or intellectual delays. Our network grew to include families across the United States and it became a launching pad for networking, friendships, support, education, prayer and celebrations.

Through the years, I chronicled my daughter Eden’s discoveries (and Aaron's, Cliff's and my discoveries too) via an ongoing series of articles. I have often thought I would like to collect some of my "Eden stories" to share in a more organized fashion, so I am getting my chance now, since Yahoogroups has been truncated --and will soon totally disappear.

After looking at various other site-hosts in the past year during which The 21st Blessing has been homeless (with a modest footprint on Facebook), I have finally decided to relaunch using a Shutterfly share site -- because I can organize specific pages to facilitate different types of sharing (photos, messages, family intros, a journal for me to blog on, and room to add other pages).

So if you get an invitation from me to join The 21st Blessing, yes that is from me. (You will need to make a password to register, by the way). If you have a Shutterfly account already, sign in and just search "the21stblessing" to request to be added...

So fasten your safety belt, and –though we may encounter pockets of turbulence– get ready to soar!
blessings, Linda

Tomorrow at >>11am Pacific
10/23/2020

Tomorrow at >>11am Pacific

My husband was writing an essay about parenting advice, and was asking for our feedback this weekend; so naturally I ask...
09/07/2020

My husband was writing an essay about parenting advice, and was asking for our feedback this weekend; so naturally I asked Eden if she had any parenting tips too. She had a lot to say! Here are her five suggestions:

A. Planning [Eden loves planning]
1. Have a tech plan. [During the school years streaming and games were weekend activities only]. Do most important things first before you screentime.
2. Be Active plan -- [get] moving every day
3. Schedule chores and tasks that aren't your favorite
4. Make a morning plan and night time plan [so you can be independent and your parents don't have to tell you what to do to get ready in the morning or how to get ready for bed]
5. Designate time for writing and reading [Eden schedules this in on her own rather than my telling her to do this.]
6. Have time with God so your heart is in the right place and you are a better person

B. Don't put it down; put it away

C. Have healthy choices for food

D. "Family Report Card"
[When Eden and her big brother hit growing pains in our mother-teen relationships, i.e. when her brother was in high school, and then later when she was in transition after high school, I used a form that I got from _Raising a G-Rated Family in an X-***ed World_ by Brent and Phelicia Hatch. I don't think I ever really finished reading the book itself, but the appendix with the report card was invaluable in my growing as a mother, and in building a more positive relationship with Eden (as well as with her brother before he went off to college).

I would set up monthly dates with Eden to take her out to dinner and we would just catch up and then she would grade me on a set of ten criteria from the Family Report Card. At first I only got two A’s and the rest were B’s. But she would highlight the two areas she wanted me to work on the most in the coming month, and gradually I was getting straight A’s -- so at that point we set the report card aside when we met, and just focused on quality Mother-Daughter time.]

E. Do something you love every day.

My daughter Eden was asked to write about her employment journey.  Here are her responses:1 What has your professional j...
08/31/2020

My daughter Eden was asked to write about her employment journey. Here are her responses:

1 What has your professional journey been?

Hi my name is Eden Rapp and I am 24 years old from California and I have been working at Mod Pizza since 2019. However my job journey did not start there. When I was in high school I volunteered at my local library and also was an office assistant at my school. Then I started making health bars in 2013 for a start up kitchen and took culinary arts and office training at the career transition center. After completing high school in 2015 I continued learning about the work environment and different life skills like cooking or learning how to make a bed or staying active. I also got to do workability as a Teacher Assistant at Amestoy Elementary School. Because the staff at Doyle Career Transition Center believed in me and saw potential in me, they decided to give me a challenge and it was fun. So in 2016 in the summer they promoted me to the Center for Advanced Transition Skills (CATS), the next training level which is learning to work in the real world and taking classes at a community college at the same time.

CATS met on a regular college campus which is Harbor College. They give you transportation safety lessons every morning to your work spot and back to the campus and back home. They do this until you feel comfortable and ready to do this on your own. After the first two times they will only give you prompts to pull the cord on the bus and after two weeks they will sit farther away from you and they are quiet because they encourage you to do this on your own and so after the two weeks of silence they will stop riding the bus with you but will follow you by their own cars for another week so after three weeks in all they will feel like you are doing a good job and then that is when you are doing the transportation independently. They were able to pick a job placement that I loved: I liked Gulf Avenue Elementary School cafeteria because they talked things through with me and showed me at the same time what they were expecting me to do and then they did other things while I was prepping the trays for breakfast for the students. Like the previous training I was only with CATS for a year and a half from 2016 to spring of 2017. That was when the director saw the potential in me again challenging me to do the next and final level in the different job training programs in my school district.

So in 2017 I was given an Access card for transportation and now I started to go back and forth to the hospital for a one-year unpaid internship at Kaiser South Bay Medical Center called Project Search. Project Search involved three different partnerships: the hospital itself, Regional Center, and Best Buddies job coaching . While I was there I had three rotations: two rotations in office work for the Maternal Child Health department and then in Administration; and one rotation in the gift shop. Project Search helped me be professional in what I say and do: to be responsible, reliable and respectful.

After I graduated in 2018 from Project Search, my Best Buddies job coach asked me what kind of jobs I was interested in, found job openings, helped me fill out applications and prepared me for job interviews. She always went with me to interviews for support too. It was hard work but finally after eight months she asked me if I could fold boxes and I said yes. So at the end of February of 2019 I had an interview at Mod Pizza and I started training in March 2019. What I do at work is box folding, pressing dough, and if they are busy I will help with online orders.

2 Why do you enjoy working at Mod?

The reason why I love working at Mod Pizza is because it not only gives me the chance to put smiles on people’s faces, but it also teaches me how to act socially appropriate. I love that it is an inclusive environment and they believe all people should work no matter what your background is. Everyone is super supportive and funny; we learn a lot about each other and that means a lot to me. When I first started they helped me to fit in and make me feel like we are a family. I enjoy folding boxes and pressing dough; those are my two favorite tasks.

3 what does your job mean to you?

It means a lot to me. When I first got started I made several mistakes other than acting socially appropriately. Being at Mod taught me more than just doing my job it also taught me about different life lessons it for example:

1 managing my time: When I first started I did not really care about the timing of the bus routes so I would pick bus times right at my shift times and I felt bad and so I made a action plan with my parents and my boss to learn how to read a bus schedule so every time I work I would sit down with either mom or dad and they taught me how to read a bus schedule so now I take buses fifteen or thirty minutes before my shift so that I would be on time.

2 reading and keeping a schedule: I am more of a list oriented person than actually reading a schedule and so I wouldn’t stay focused so i would look at everyone’s schedule instead of my own and so one time I thought I did not have to go in because I thought I had a day off but I was wrong so again I made a action plan on learning how to just look at my schedule I would forward my schedules to my parents and I would print them out and highlight my name and my shift hours so I can see it more clearly so that I won’t be that confused and now that is not a problem

3 learning to give to other ministries or other people: I have been paid more than minimum wage and so because of that I now give to other people on my own and my dad taught me how to write checks and keep a checkbook register. So I now pay for my own fitness coach who comes to my backyard so that I can be more fit and now I made my weight goal. Also I give to a friend who is in ministry and so every three months I make a donation to her. So that is a lot of fun.

4 teasing vs. playing around: One of my captains but I like to call them trainers always kept me accountable and brought me back down to earth, and also not just help me with what I do at work but also about life. There was a time I asked her,” What is the difference between picking on someone and playing around?” Through the months she was able to show me and to tell me the difference between teasing and playing around and through the months where I was having a hard time she was there to get me through it all and she is the best. I am thankful that other co workers,trainers/captains, plus my boss Gary keep me accountable and challenge me to do more than what I am used to.

4 Why is employment important to people with in the Down syndrome community?

It is said that 87 percent of people with Down syndrome are unemployed. I don’t like that statistic. I think that people like me should be able to do the same things as people with only 46 chromosomes. We may have to work harder at different job skills so people can see our potential, but everyone is different and has different talents.

Employment is more than a paycheck. Working in the community means interacting with people besides yourself and your family. You start building relationships with other people, and with the money you get, you can either save it, invest it, help other people other than yourself, or you can do something fun like go on vacation or go to Knotts Berry Farm to get a chicken meal for your family or something related to that. Many self-advocates have the goal and dream about wanting to move out and so working and employment is crucial for them. Having a job not only makes me feel more independent but also it makes me feel like I can see my future and grow in independent living.

Are you, or is someone in your circles 18 years old or over and eligible to vote?  Here are some plain language material...
08/26/2020

Are you, or is someone in your circles 18 years old or over and eligible to vote? Here are some plain language materials from the Autistic Self-Advocacy Network to empower you or your loved ones, explaining why it is important to vote and what you should understand in order to vote responsibly.
https://autisticadvocacy.org/policy/toolkits/voting/
Also if you are not registered, here is the link to do so: https://registertovote.ca.gov/

On election day, people pick who they want to represent them in elected office. This process is an important part of life in the community. It matters because people who make policy decisions change our everyday lives. Everything from curb cuts to anti-discrimination laws can change based on who hol

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Lomita, CA

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