The 4T's and the Church

06/14/2023

Gay marriage is good for the Church because it makes us rethink, reread, and question our hearts, agendas, and willingness to sacrifice and walk with our brothers and sisters who struggle with this.

This may mean we need more single men and women in the Church.

This may mean more families need to open their homes and ask other Christians to live with them.

We need to value friendship and keep friendships in holy covenants.

This may mean we need to start valuing, teaching, and creating a space for the gift of celibacy for straight Christians so this gift can finally demonstrate the power and resurrection of our God and how it benefits the Church.

This may mean those dating must be more aware of how that changes their friendships and community.

Have we been too concerned about being right and following parts of the letters of the scripture over helping and meeting the needs of our brothers and sisters who struggle with homos*xuality in PRACTICAL REAL LIFE WAYS?

06/12/2023

Tim Keller says, “To be loved but not known is comforting but superficial. To be known and not loved is our greatest fear. But to be fully known and truly loved is a lot like being loved by God. It is what we need more than anything. It liberates us from pretense, humbles us out of our self-righteousness, and fortifies us for any difficulty life throws us.”

To some extent, I am losing that now.

I don't feel as known by people right now.

But I have to trust if God is real and loves me and cares for me, he is going to meet the deep needs in my life,

so what do I do now?

Well, As C.S. Lewis wrote during the time he lost his wife and was mourning and processing his grief....

“I know the two great commandments, and I'd better get on with them.” - C.S. Lewis

06/09/2023

During this event, we will explore the four critical elements of the 4T's: Touch, Time, Transparency, and Teamwork. These elements are seen as crucial aspects of human connection. They are essential for individuals to experience a sense of value and intimacy in their lives, especially as they deal with same-s*x lust and same-s*x attraction (two different experiences)
Through insightful presentations, panel discussions, and interactive discussion, we will delve into the following key topics:
Understanding Same-S*x Attraction.
Understanding Same-S*x Lust.
Examining the complexities of same-s*x attraction and lust.
Challenging misconceptions and promoting empathy and compassion
Intimacy Beyond S*x: Redefining Connection
Exploring diverse forms of intimacy and their significance
Discovering how the 4T's can contribute to deep connections and meaningful relationships.
The Role of the Church: Creating a Welcoming and true loving place for Christians dealing with this throught the 4ts.
Examining the challenges faced by Christians with same-s*x attraction.
Discussing ways in which the Church can provide support, acceptance, and love.
Building Bridges: Dialogue and Collaboration
Fostering healthy conversations between individuals with different perspectives
Encouraging teamwork and unity within the Church while embracing diversity
This seminar aims to create a safe and respectful space for open dialogue where attendees can gain valuable insights, share personal experiences, and learn from each other's journeys. Whether you are a member of the clergy, a concerned Christian, or simply seeking a deeper understanding of this topic, this event is designed to be inclusive and welcoming to all.
Join us as we embrace intimacy, foster understanding, and cultivate a more inclusive and loving Church community. Together, let us explore the transformative power of the 4T's and their impact on individuals dealing with same-s*x attraction and lust within the Church.

05/30/2023

Christians meeting the needs of others who struggle with homos*xuality hinges on recognizing the value of friendship as the same level of importance as it places on marriage.

Philia love is also known as brotherly love. This love addresses struggles faced by Christians dealing with homos*xuality.

In human history, Blood Brothers represented a significant expression of male friendship, celebrated and honored in myths, art, legends, and ancient stories. In remote areas worldwide, the practice of blood brothers lives alongside the institution of marriage.

Forming blood brothers naturally arises from male friendship, acknowledging men develop close bonds with friends outside their biological families. Blood brothers extend beyond family ties, creating a meta-family beyond family. It taps into the emotional depth of brotherhood, encompassing loyalty, camaraderie, mutual trust, shared history, experiences, and interests.

It raises the question, "Why can't we also be brothers?"

Historically, the Church acknowledged and celebrated such friendships, conducting ceremonies where two men would take communion together and form a lifelong covenant. However, due to societal and Christian norms, it is no longer celebrated. We resort to using terms like "bromance" to describe them.

God created friendships, and they can surpass marriages in their intimacy.

The Church's pursuit of defending the institution of marriage overlooked the value of friendship.

When you have a blood brother, what they possess becomes yours, and vice versa. You stand up for each other's honor, protect each other's families, and share resources. A ceremony involving both of your blood, similar to what God did with Abraham and what Jesus did with the Church, is conducted before a group of witnesses. It is a lifelong covenant, an unwavering commitment. You know you can rely on this person for anything.

Christians struggling with homos*xuality find it challenging to be part of church communities because they are unsure if others are committed to them for life.

05/16/2023

My sinful way of expressing my love for my friends is by wanting to show them passion by giving them hand jobs or bl****bs. Giving them anything they want without boundaries and ensuring they are first in my life instead of putting the Kingdom of God first. I want to ensure they can have all the pleasures in the world without consequences. I want to experience s*x with them and experience their heart beating rapidly as they or**sm. I want to share passionate lust with them.

But.....

I also want to love my guy friends like Jesus loves the Church passionately.

Whenever I watch a soccer game, I build up envy because I see these men on a team love each other passionately whenever a goal occurs.

They are running all over the field, hustling and battling against the opposing team to score a goal. They are sweating, breathing hard, and physically using their bodies to defend, attack, and outplay the other team. They know how each other works. They know who is fast, slow and who can be there as they make the play to achieve the scoring goal. They are yelling at each other, encouraging, trusting, and building on top of each other's hard work to make the play work. When it happens, when they score that goal, they celebrate that victory by jumping all over each other, kissing each other, hugging each other, and experiencing the passion for success and teamwork as they celebrate that goal. They don't care. They are sweaty, smelly, and tired. They care about affirming their effort and collaboration through a passionate celebration.

I hope friendship can be like this one day. I hope men like me can express the healthy passion building up in us. I hope men like men can be accepted as normal men just wanting to connect with our fellow brothers in a deeper way than what the world understands.

05/08/2023

I can't do this, Sam.

I know. It's all wrong. By rights, we shouldn't even be here. But we are. It's like in the great stories, Mr. Frodo. The ones that really mattered. Full of darkness and danger, they were. And sometimes you didn't want to know the end. Because how could the end be happy? How could the world go back to the way it was when so much bad had happened? But in the end, it's only a passing thing, this shadow. Even darkness must pass. A new day will come. And when the sun shines it will shine out of the clearer. Those were the stories that stayed with you. That meant something, even if you were too small to understand. I know now. Folk in those stories had lots of chances of turning back, only they didn't. They kept going. Because they were holding on to something.

What are we holding onto, Sam?

That there's some good in this world, Mr. Frodo…and it's worth fighting for."

Frodo and Sam are relatable to everyone's life, even Christians dealing with same s*x lust.

The Ring of Power, which is evil, is like the very complex sin of wanting to have s*x with the same s*x. Wanting a s*xual relationship inside the beauty and holiness of friendship. The Ring of Power is like sin. But the ring of power is not the identity of Frodo. Struggling with homos*xuality is not our identity either.

Frodo needed a loyal, lifelong, sacrificial, stubborn fighter to carry this burden to its end. And for those of us that struggle with homos*xuality, we need a trustworthy, lifelong, sacrificial, stubborn fighter too! We need someone willing to dedicate their time, life, and hearts to the bigger purpose of the Holy Spirit's sanctifying work, as he is making us more like Christ.

And the Church and Christians can do that!

If you decide to walk alongside a Christian who struggles with homos*xuality....

You will find yourself in darkness as Samwise did.

You must bring hope and courage to this friendship as Samwise did.

And when all hope is gone in someone struggling with this sin (which can happen a lot), you will find yourself saying to your fellow brother who struggles with homos*xuality…

"Come on," he cried. "I can't carry it for you, but I can carry you."

"Come, Mr. Frodo!" he exclaimed. "I may not be able to bear the burden of the ring, but I can bear you." Along with Stand By Me and Good Will Hunting, Lord of the Rings is among my most cherished stories, portraying the epic battles, unwavering loyalty, and profound love that fr

05/04/2023

One of the greatest experiences of Christian faith I’ve experienced was singing songs of worship with other Christians that deal with same s*x lust or say they are gay or whatever terms they use.

When you sing

I’ll Give it all for you,

the kingdom of God is first,

it is well with my soul,

especially that.

It is well with my soul.

Through all the agony you guys deal with as you are not understood by the church, lack the deep godly same s*x connection with your friends, deal with daily loneliness, not accepted by the world, and fight within yourself against a lustful evil, and pray to God over and over and over please take this from me and he’s just quiet.

yet you say, “it is well with my soul.”

You guys are inspiring. You truly carry your cross. God sees this.

May you still have the endurance to run the race and put the Kingdom of God first in your life. Keep it up. You are in my prayers.

One day you will have the simple rest that you have been longing for that for whatever reason, is so hard to find now.

My the arms of Christ be your finish line.

04/23/2023

As much as the gay community is all about acceptance, tolerance, be true to yourself, it's far from those ideals. 
Masculinity is the god in the gay world. 
You are either trying to be masculine and be the TOP and f**k a bottom, which I think makes gay men feel good about themselves. 
Or you are a Bottom wanting masculinity to be in you, and so you are f**ked by a top, hoping this satisfies your desire for masculinity approval.

What I want to talk about is this need for masculinity these gay men want and how gay p**n satisfies that want in a fake, shallow, and addictive way, and how the Church is more powerful than gay p**n and can offer this healthy need for masculinity in 3 ways.
1.  The Church can offer male intimacy that gay p**n can't.
     A. Through Touch
    B. Time
    C. Transparency
    D. Teamwork
2. The Church can offer an actual male body that gay p**n can't.  
    A. Through Touch
    B. Time
    C. Transparency
    D. Teamwork
3.  The Church will help with the healing process and the redemption God desires for his children that gay p**n can't.
    A. Through Touch
    B. Time
    C. Transparency
    D. Teamwork. 
One of the most fascinating stats about gay p**n was how many categories were tied to "Straight men" in the U.S. and England.
Straight first time
Straight
Straight friend
straight guy tricked
straight seduced
daddy
college

04/19/2023

http://www.the4tsandthechurch.com/blogs/2017/1/9/transparency

Am I suppose to be in the LGBT label? I'm s*xually attracted to men. I have experienced s*x with men and like it. Am I interpreting the Bible wrong? Does God really allow same-s*x relationships to be morally ok? Or worse! Am I an insecure male who has not found my masculinity and I'm searching for it in other guys who I define as masculine? When I see a guy that is everything opposite of me (tall, blonde hair, blue eyes, good at sports, muscular, a people pleaser, big p***s, humble and gentle, respected by men) I have to ask myself, “Do I believe by getting in his pants and pleasuring him and him pleasuring me that I have attained that masculinity? That if I touch his p***s I have it! Or instead of having confidence in myself, my masculinity, my body, my p***s, my being, am I trying to fill in the holes of my being by looking to men s*xually rather than looking to them in a brotherly way?

When I see a man I define as attractive, it makes me feel good to get in his pants and feel like I have him. When he touches me and I touch him, it feels like everything fits. It makes sense for the time being as we lay there vulnerable and naked that all is good. All the affirmation of making him feel good makes me feel loved,

but I'm I really being loved?

Am I really being vulnerable and naked, or am I just hiding all my pain and insecurities with this idea that being gay is really who I am in order to not deal with the deep pains and hurts that concern my masculinity and s*xuality?

Do I really know who I am?

Can I simply just be who I am, a male who can skinny dip?

I think the most important questions to ask myself are these....

Am I under the identity of Jesus the brave and vulnerable?

Or

Am I under the identity of Adam the coward who hid?

04/17/2023

Link in Bio. This is my most read blog. Most men find this blog when they’re looking for gay p**n to watch. That’s how close satan wants lies of sinful masculinity, such as homos*xuality, to be entangled with Gods design for men amongst men.

I want to stress that a guy who struggles with lusting after women can go to a community of guys and talk to them about it and not worry about whether or not they feel comfortable about his lust for women because they all understand that. And that is a healthy, loving, and godly environment. And I believe those attracted to their male friends should have that same environment.

I don't have the option to run away from a situation because the same community I am in includes attractive men. Instead of running away from them, I run to them. I do that because these men are God's hands and feet in my life. And so I need to see and experience God's love through them. And as I do that, I no longer see them as s*xual objects but as my brothers, my friends! Seeing them naked and being with them naked gives me the experience of being known, knowing them, and allows me to not lust after them but see them as they are, my brothers. It also solves the curiosity of their physical being. As I experienced nakedness with them, my attraction for them went away. I believe that happened because I was able to know them in a better and healthier way. I call this "locker room bonding." I do this because I can't just run away from every Christian guy I am attracted to. I need to deal with saying no to the sinful unhealthy desires in my life. And it hurts, and it is painful. But I need to do this because I will live with men and be in a community with them my whole life. I need to deal with the fact that it is sinful to lust after men.

This process is called sanctification. And it burns. It takes the sinfulness out of us. C. S. Lewis says something that refers to this process, "We are, not metaphorically but in very truth, a Divine work of art, something that God is making, and therefore something with which He will not be satisfied until it has a certain character. Here again, we come up against what I have called the "intolerable compliment."