03/20/2022
Dear Mr Poppy, My best friend of a few years, "Shiela” and I are very close. We were basically two peas in a pod, spending most days together, but we’ve never been physical because Sheila thinks we’re better in the friend zone. Now I have a girlfriend, "Karen.” She's a mutual friend of both of us.
Karen and I have been together for only a few months, and we’re making wild monkey love on a regular basis, I don't want things to change. The problem is, she's jealous of the connection I have with Shiela, and Shiela feels ditched, like I'm not spending enough time with her.
I know the conventional advice is to dump one or the other, but I care about them both too much to lose either one, and I need to find a balance instead. How do I go about having a best friend and a relationship at the same time? -signed- ALREADY PW’d
DEAR PW, Start by telling Karen that had you wanted to tap Shiela, she would have shut you down because you’re just in the friends zone and Shiela’s a psychopath. Then tell Karen you will never see or talk to Sheila again for as long as you live. Then; you can spend the rest of your like with your tail between your legs, miserable with no respect from either of these women; or anyone else that gets wind of how much of a wussy you are.
After that, explain to Shiela that had she put out, she would be able to push you around like Karen does.
