11/05/2025
🚫TW: Miscarriage & Loss ❤️🩹
Sometimes life throws you curve balls and it’s all you can do to just keep your head above water. I don’t know how people go through life without Jesus, and I don’t know how people go through life without a village. I don’t know where I would be without my Jesus or my village! I’m going to share with you a testament of the goodness of our God! It’s lengthy, it’s full of dates and details, and it’s messy. So if that isn’t for you, that’s okay too but it’s been impressed upon my heart to share our walk and our testimony. I don’t share for sympathy or “likes”, I share because it’s how I overcome the lies of the enemy- through the power of our testimony. It’s a long read, but a good one!
On August 9th I began experiencing severe abdominal pain that radiated through to my back. Normally I would take some pain pills or some other medication to ease the symptoms but nothing was cutting it. The pain was so severe I was vomiting repeatedly. I got the girls ready and we headed to church that next morning on August 10th. I was still in pain so I just took more pain pills. I had to leave church early because the pain was so extreme and when I got home I collapsed in the floor and wept like a baby. My pain tolerance is fairly high, so I knew something was wrong. I just didn’t want to go to the hospital again if I didn’t have to. I had spent more time in the hospital over the last year than I had in my entire life. Eventually I gave in and I went to the hospital. By the time we got there, the pain had finally subsided and being the stubborn woman I am- I almost left. Thank the good Lord I didn’t. We quickly found out that my gallbladder had a stone lodged in my bile duct and that it was potentially life threatening if not treated immediately.
We also found out, unexpectedly, that I was 5 weeks pregnant. This changed everything. I couldn’t receive the normal care and operations/procedures as usual. So, they transferred me via ambulance to a hospital specializing in emergency care and pregnancy to have an emergency operation. We thought we had a “failed” medicated cycle and even had a negative pregnancy test when I was two days late. So we were completely and utterly shocked. The urine and blood HCG both confirmed- pregnant. A literal miracle! We had been trying for almost 5 years and our last miscarried pregnancy was almost 3 years to the date of finding out about our little miracle surprise! They informed me of the risk of the surgery with a pregnancy so early- they ensured me that they were all hoping for the best alongside us and that they too were holding onto hope that the baby would be okay! We enlisted all of our prayer warriors!
There was a 14 mm gallstone lodged in my bile duct and the surgeon told me I was at high risk for developing pancreatitis if I hadn’t had come in to the hospital the day before. They were able to remove the stone and put two stents in, one in my bile duct and one to my pancreas, to allow stones to move through freely. Scheduled a surgery for my second trimester to remove the gallbladder itself- for when the baby would be strong enough to go through the procedure. Two nights and three days in the hospital, and one week knowing about our little miracle!
We found out on August 14th that my HCG levels dropped drastically and we received the worst news possible- we were going to miscarry this baby too. We prayed and believed for a miracle, but God didn’t allow for it to happen this time for us. I miscarried our sweet babe at 6 weeks and 1 day, on August 15th. If I hadn’t have went in when I did, I may not have ever knew he existed; if I hadn’t have went in when I did, I could have been even more sick with irreparable damage or even worse, I may not be here today! God was with us through it all- and He still is!
I didn’t make it to my next appointment to have my gallbladder removed. I had another gallbladder flare and was in excruciating pain. Another emergency surgery had to happen to have it removed. On September 8th, I had emergency surgery to have my gallbladder removed! I thought I was in the clear- I thought that my stents had been removed alongside my gallbladder, and I was so overjoyed that this nightmare of a season was behind us, but I was wrong. I got a call from my surgeons office a couple of weeks later saying that I missed my appointment to have my stents removed, and my stomach immediately sank. The nightmare continued.
So, on October 23rd I went in for my third surgery to have my stents removed that they had placed in August. And this time it was supposed to be outpatient and easy peasy. When they went in to remove the stents there were some complications, the stent broke off and they ended up having to cut me from the inside to be able to remove the stent as well as 10 more gallstones that were hanging out in there. They thought that I was in the clear, until I awoke from surgery convulsing uncontrollably and vomiting everywhere. They informed me later that my body had an inflammatory response to the surgery procedure. They admitted me and tested all of my levels- which were through the roof! At that time they began pumping me with antibiotics and scheduled me for another emergency surgery. The surgeon said that the only reason my numbers could be that high was due to some residual stones that may have lodged themselves in my liver duct. I had this awful feeling that I was going to die in the next surgery! I later found out that is an “affect” sepsis can have on your mind. It was a terrifying experience.
They took me back the following day for surgery, again, and they did find more stone fragments and sludge blocking my liver duct. They said I had papillary stenosis and that in order to clear the blockage in the liver duct, they had to cut me deeper internally and place another stent to extend it. I found out upon discharge that I had sepsis and that’s why they were taking all the precautions and doing all of the procedures they had done. I have had to have my labs drawn weekly since I left the hospital- to make sure that my numbers are trending down and not up since I was still at risk for sepsis.
God has answered prayers through all of this- I prayed that the stent wouldn’t have to be in for 8-10 more weeks and that God would somehow show me He was with me during yet another hospital stay! The “outpatient procedure” that turned into 2 nights and 3 days in the hospital, God showed me He was there the whole time. I didn’t know how sick I was- but God protected me. The surgeon told me if he were a betting man that the stent would have to stay in place for 8-10 weeks. But I will get to have it removed at week 4. God showed me and continues to show us that He is with us!
So, with all of this being shared- I have my (hopefully) final surgery scheduled for the day before Thanksgiving to have the liver duct stent removed. So your prayers in this would be greatly appreciated.
I share all of this to share the goodness of my God! He has carried me through the darkest, scariest, and most difficult season of my life. He is the reason I’m still here and He is the reason why I’m sharing this testimony. While I may not understand why all of these things have happened, and I may not understand why our baby couldn’t stay with us earth-side, I know that I’ll never stop praising my God. I’ll never stop proclaiming the goodness of God. I’ve shared this testimony three times now, and the enemy’s attacks are never ceasing. But I won’t stop sharing it and I won’t stop giving honor to the God who created me, regardless of our circumstances. Because regardless of what I’m feeling or going through- my God is still good and He is still worthy of praise.
It’s been in the darkness where God has met me with His outstretched arms of light. It has been in the loneliest of places where the pain felt too much that He has shown me that He was always right there by my side. It was in the depths of the trenches of postpartum depression that God showed up and held on tight- never letting go. (I didn’t know that you can suffer from postpartum depression after miscarriage, but quickly learned that to your body- miscarriage is no different than delivery and your hormones still bottom out .) And I can honestly say that this tragedy and this season of trial, sickness, and pain has only drawn us closer together as husband and wife and closer to the Lord. The devil can try all he wants, he will never steal my faith , my joy, or my hope in God. We have peace, we have joy- all unexplainable because of the literal hell we have been through. But God! How faithful is our God? He stayed by our sides and comforted us, He sent so many people to bless and encourage us, He showed up through each nurse and doctor and EMT- through the whole process He WAS there.
So yes, while we may not understand why our little miracle couldn’t stay with us earth side, we know that God has a plan and that He isn’t finished yet! The enemy didn’t win, though it may seem like he has. God has given us a promise and we won’t let it go! So while to the world our situation may look bleak- we have sunshine, we have joy, we have peace, we have hope, and we are rejoicing in knowing our sweet baby is in the arms of Jesus and playing with his brothers in Heaven! Thank you all for your prayers, for the texts and calls, for the meals delivered, the flowers, cards, and thoughtful gifts. The ones that jumped in and helped us with our girls and our sweet pup when we couldn’t be there for them. The ones that stoped by just for a hug and a sweet gift! The ones that stopped by just to sit with us and pray when there were no words to make sense of what happened and why. The day may not be good- but God is still a good father! The battle may seem lost, but God is still on our side. The clouds may seem dark, but the sun is still shining!
I would have never thought I would still be standing after 4 surgeries and a miscarriage in only 2 months time- but God has given peace and a strength we cannot explain and God truly is holding us up! We don’t have to understand, we still believe that God is in control and that He still has a plan. He hasn’t left us and He never will! This pain has a purpose; our baby’s life, no matter how short, has a purpose! And we don’t know what we would do without our village but we are forever grateful! Please continue to be in prayer for us as I have the other surgery in the upcoming weeks. Love to you all ♥️ The Bakers
“To our sweet baby,
I carried you for 43 days
We all knew you were a boy
You were 6 weeks and one day old
You were loved, wanted, held, and if our love could have kept you here with us then you surely would have lived forever
You were Due on April 10th, 2026
We Found out about you on August 10th, 2025 when mommy was pregnant with you at only 5 weeks
We Miscarried you on August 15th, 2025 at 6 weeks and 1 day old
The week we spent with you, that we knew you were there, was one of the greatest blessings we have ever been given. We love you baby boy and cannot wait to meet you one day in Heaven ”
To all three of our sweet babes, we love you and we know you’ll handpick your future siblings for us from heaven 🤍
Judah due 10.8.2021 👼
Simeon due 4.30.2024 👼
Aaron due 4.10.2026 👼
Joshua and I took these photos “just in case something bad happens”, which is what pregnancy after loss looks like. And golly, I’m so glad we took them. Something about knowing our sweet babe was there with us in these photos is just so healing ❤️🩹❤️
Job 13:15 “Though he slay me, yet will trust in him: But l will maintain mine own ways before him.” ❤️