DivorceCare at New Life Tabernacle

01/19/2026

10/12/2017

DivorceCare Daily - Why Is the Anger So Deep?

Because …
You loved your spouse with all your heart.
You gave so much of yourself to him/her.
You worked at the relationship.
You trusted your spouse.
You were faithful.
You went to church, believed in God, and tried to live right.
You thought you’d be together forever.
“You never think that you’re going to get kicked in the teeth, but stuff happens, and you do,” says Joanne.
“Your feelings are going to be overpowering sometimes, but I think people are much worse off if they don’t let those feelings rage through their bodies. You have to rage, pounding your fists. You have to scream, whine, moan, and complain to your nearest and dearest friends; you have to do whatever you can to let it pass through your system.”
Divorce brings an abrupt end to things that you thought were good, right, and secure in your life. Now you aren’t sure which parts of your married life were real and which parts were only illusions. You are not wrong to feel anger. Justified anger can be a good and necessary response.
Jesus showed righteous anger when he saw people buying and selling their goods in the temple, making a profit from religious activities rather than revering God.
“Jesus entered the temple area and drove out all who were buying and selling there. He overturned the tables of the money changers and the benches of those selling doves. ‘It is written,’ he said to them, ‘My house will be called a house of prayer,’ but you are making it a ‘den of robbers’” (Matthew 21:12-13).
Lord God, I am so angry. I am furious at my former spouse, at myself, and at other people involved. I want to scream! Show me how to express my anger. Amen.
** Remember you can join us at any point during the 13-week cycle. Every Friday, beginning at 7pm at New Life Tabernacle, 3021 De Soto St., Building A, Houston. We will be glad to have you!
The next session will begin, when we have 7-10 people to sign up!!!

10/07/2017

DivorceCare Daily - Defining Anger

Dr. Les Carter says that having anger means standing up for your own worth, needs, and convictions.
“You don’t get angry when folks are kind, pleasant, or understanding. Anger shows up when someone has rejected you or is being uncooperative, or when a person is being critical, harsh, or difficult to get along with. When anger appears on the scene, it arouses your sense of self-preservation.
"You want to preserve one of three things. You want to preserve your worth as a human being; your anger can be your way of wishing to say, ‘Please, show me some respect, will you?’ Anger can be your way of preserving your basic needs: ‘Recognize that I have needs, and acknowledge them, please.’ Or anger can be a way that you stand up for your deepest convictions. It is your way of saying, ‘I believe in things, and I don’t want to back away from them.’”
You will feel anger at some point in your divorce. Do not try to deny or suppress this emotion. God does not condemn you for your anger when it is justified. God Himself is described as “slow to anger”—not “never angry.”
“And he passed in front of Moses, proclaiming, ‘The LORD, the LORD, the compassionate and gracious God, slow to anger, abounding in love and faithfulness’” (Exodus 34:6).
Lord God, sometimes my anger is justifiable; sometimes it’s not. Help me to be slow to anger, like You. Amen.
** Remember you can join us at any point during the 13-week cycle. Every Friday, beginning at 7pm at New Life Tabernacle, 3021 De Soto St., Building A, Houston. We will be glad to have you.
The next 13-week cycle will begin, when the head count reach 10!!!

05/29/2015

DivorceCare Daily - Source of Anger: Fear

What fears do you have as a result of your divorce?
Sue shares, “I felt desperate and extremely fearful. Satan would always try to attack me with fear. Fear that I couldn’t make it on my own. Fear that my former husband was going to take the children. Fear that I would not ever be emotionally well again.”
Fear can be a source of anger, and fear is triggered when a person feels threatened emotionally.
“Fear can cause you to have a great sense of agitation,” says Dr. Les Carter. “Consider a dog, for example, that barks at somebody on the other side of the fence. The bark sounds like the dog is angry, but in fact, it may be that the dog is kind of afraid and is just trying to make it sound like it’s stronger than it really is.”
You don’t have to be strong or confident or self-sufficient. God wants you to depend on His strength, and He will be victorious through you. Try depending on God today. When fear threatens to come into your mind, choose a Bible verse to repeat again and again. Claim that verse and watch God work. You might want to pick one of the verses below, or you can look in a concordance for the word “fear” and find another Scripture that might be meaningful for you.
“In all these things we are more than conquerors through him who loved us” (Romans 8:37).
“But he said to me, ‘My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.’ Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me” (2 Corinthians 12:9).
Jesus, thank you for Your grace—Your undeserved, free gift of love to me. Amen.
** Remember you can join us at any point during the 13-week cycle. Every Friday, beginning at 7pm at New Life Tabernacle, 3021 De Soto St., Building A, Houston. We will be glad to have you!

05/28/2015

DivorceCare Daily - Source of Anger: Pride

Divorce hurts your pride, and wounded pride can lead to anger.
You may be angry with your former spouse
• for not trying hard enough to make the marriage work
• for making it public that he or she is rejecting you
• for seeming to disregard what was good in the marriage
• for making you look foolish because you didn’t know what was going on
• for putting you in an awkward social position
“You plan to spend fifty years with a person,” says James, “and the next thing you know life is cut out from underneath you. I would say the anger comes from wanting vindication, wanting justification, and wanting to prove to other people that it was a good marriage.”
You naturally want to be accepted. You want other people to approve of and respect you. But in divorce, egos get bruised. You are forced into socially uncomfortable positions. Past friendships no longer fit. Your life and your problems are suddenly exposed and seem to be an open forum for other people to discuss and offer their advice and opinions on. You wonder just how much friends, family, or coworkers have known about the situation all along.
It is okay to want to be accepted, but know that divorce does result in hurt pride. Do not be concerned about what people are saying or thinking about you, and don’t let your pride be a source of uncontrolled anger at your former spouse.
“When pride comes, then comes disgrace, but with humility comes wisdom” (Proverbs 11:2).
Heavenly Father, teach me to control my anger in humility. Amen.
** Remember you can join us at any point during the 13-week cycle. Every Friday, beginning at 7pm at New Life Tabernacle, 3021 De Soto St., Building A, Houston. We will be glad to have you!

05/27/2015

DivorceCare Daily - Source of Anger: Self-Inflicted

Some anger can be self-inflicted, brought on by your own actions and wrong decisions.
“You want to feel loved and accepted,” says Dr. Les Carter. “As a result, you may find yourself more susceptible to sexual acting out, or maybe you have started hanging around a more unsavory crowd and engaging in social activities you might never have done before. These actions result in ‘self-inflicted wounds,’ which can later cause you to feel anger because you have a neediness that is pushing you to live in ways that you normally wouldn’t choose.”
When you give in to sexual or other temptations, your pain is numbed for a short time, but you remember what you did for a long time, and it can make you angry. If you have already given in to temptation and are feeling guilty or angry, stop. There is no need to dwell on what has been done. Turn to God for forgiveness and forgive yourself.
When you ask God to forgive a sin, He forgives you thoroughly. This is extremely difficult for our human nature to comprehend, as we like to remember and rehash things in our minds. God’s Word says there is “no condemnation” for those who seek forgiveness through Jesus Christ. You must be an imitator of Christ and stop blaming yourself when you have already been forgiven. God is not pleased with self-condemnation because that is not how He taught us to behave.
“Therefore, there is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus, because through Christ Jesus the law of the Spirit of life set me free from the law of sin and death” (Romans 8:1-2).
Dear Lord, please forgive my sins in the name of Jesus Christ. Help me develop a plan to keep me from future temptation. Amen.
** Remember you can join us at any point during the 13-week cycle. Every Friday, beginning at 7pm at New Life Tabernacle, 3021 De Soto St., Building A, Houston. We will be glad to have you!

05/26/2015

DivorceCare Daily - Source of Anger: Mythical Thinking

Holding on to idealistic views of life can be a source of anger for you. Perhaps you have been holding on to dreams, which are now only myths. By clinging to what you can no longer have, you are feeding your frustration.
“My white picket fence was falling down, and I had four children who needed two parents, and one was emotionally not there,” says Sue.
Everyone has ideals and expectations of life. When some of your beliefs prove false, you are confused and despairing. In order to protect yourself, you hold on to whatever shreds are left of that ideal, and you begin to feel angry because what you had believed in with all your heart is falling apart around you. You are angry with the person who helped destroy your dreams, and you are angry with yourself for believing those dreams in the first place.
Dr. Les Carter says, “Mythical thinking is a refusal to acknowledge ugly truth. Ugly truth tends not to finds its way in all these fairy tales.”
One fantastic characteristic of God is that He is truth. When God promises you a dream or an ideal to look forward to, you can believe that it will come to pass. Search God’s Word to find His promises to you. Trust Him because He will never let you down.
“Trust in the LORD with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make your paths straight” (Proverbs 3:5-6).
You, O Lord, are the God of truth. You cannot deny Yourself. You always keep Your promises. I believe in the reality of You, Jesus. Amen.
** Remember you can join us at any point during the 13-week cycle. Every Friday, beginning at 7pm at New Life Tabernacle, 3021 De Soto St., Building A, Houston. We will be glad to have you!

05/25/2015

05/25/2015

DivorceCare Daily - Source of Anger: Others Are Trying to Control You

When you feel you are in control of a given situation, you have a sense of security. When others try to take over that control, you instinctively rebel.
Dr. Les Carter gives this example: “Enter into your life someone who says, ‘I don’t like the way you do things. We’re going to do things my way.’
"That happens frequently in a divorce. Another person may start making decisions that directly affect you, that are way out of bounds from what you believe. He or she may say things about you behind your back. You feel like you’re constantly scrambling, trying to figure out what to say in rebuttal. You feel controlled.
"When that occurs, your natural desire is to want to recapture control. You can find yourself in a power play: ‘You’ve got control over me. I want to prove I can have control back over you.’ Before you know it, you get pulled into frustrating circumstances, the net result being anger.
"If you want to let go of some of the anger, then let go of it by realizing you can’t control other people. You may not like what they have to say or how they are acting, but that’s not something you can control.”
You are always the one who controls how you react to a situation. Your attitude, your words, and your actions are all the result of decisions made by you. Focus on controlling yourself, and walk on a higher plane than those who are negative, petty, or domineering.
“From the ends of the earth I call to you [God], I call as my heart grows faint; lead me to the rock that is higher than I” (Psalm 61:2).
Lord, lead me to a higher realm where You dwell. Amen.
** Remember you can join us at any point during the 13-week cycle. Every Friday, beginning at 7pm at New Life Tabernacle, 3021 De Soto St., Building A, Houston. We will be glad to have you!

05/24/2015

DivorceCare Daily - Self-Worth

On a scale of one to ten, with one being “no confidence in myself whatsoever” and ten being “completely confident in myself,” rate your current level of self-worth.
1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10
This number has likely lowered since the divorce process began. Having your self-worth threatened by another individual, especially someone you trusted, can be debilitating. Your mind probably plays tricks on you, and that is Satan’s influence.
“Satan was involved in this process,” says Rob Eagar. “He would whisper thoughts into my mind, such as This is the end of the world. This is your last chance at love. You have no hope in life anymore. Thoughts like that weighed me down.
"I learned that I have to renew my mind with the truth, which is in God’s Word. I realized that there is hope, that God loves me, and my self-esteem is not based on whether another person loves me or rejects me. My self-esteem is based on the love that Christ has for me.”
You are the one who is in charge of what you think about. When thoughts come into your mind that are negative and bring you down, you must renew your mind by replacing the bad thoughts with good ones immediately. This will help build your self-esteem.
God’s Word tells us to keep our minds focused on things that are right and good.
“Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things” (Philippians 4:8).
Jesus, You love me so much that You died on the cross to save me from sin and death. I want to focus on Your love and find my strength and self-worth in You. Amen.
** Remember you can join us at any point during the 13-week cycle. Every Friday, beginning at 7pm at New Life Tabernacle, 3021 De Soto St., Building A, Houston. We will be glad to have you!