A Message to the Conscience

A Message to the Conscience The program has been on the air six days a week since 1964.

Hermano Pablo Ministries produces the 4-minute Spanish evangelistic radio and TV program A Message to the Conscience, which consists of a story followed by a moral and Biblical application.

09/03/2025

Case of the Week #888
LETTER
I attend a church where I teach the Bible. My eldest daughter is an English teacher who lives a disorderly life involving alcohol and relationships with different men.... She spends her weekends in bars.

Because I am a teacher like she is, others won’t accept my counsel, pointing out instead that I like to correct others while not correcting my own daughter.... I’ve found out that she has wrecked several couples’ marriages because the injured parties come to me to tell me what she is doing, and lay the blame on me. What am I to do? She still lives with me.

COUNSEL

Dear Friend,

In Case 881, we gave advice to a mother having a very similar problem to yours. We recommend that you consult that case to find out what we advised.

One of the differences between that case and yours is that the adult child was no longer living in the house with the parent, which is neither right nor wrong, but you do have the option of asking your daughter to move out to a place of her own. It’s possible that people would be more understanding if your daughter did move out, but you will need to pray and ask God to direct you regarding that decision, because there is no Biblically-based answer that we can offer.

The Bible does, however, state the qualifications for a leader. The Apostle Paul stressed in his letters to both Timothy and Titus that a leader should manage the home well, and that includes loving and consistently disciplining the children.1 But your daughter is not a child anymore. She is a working adult who makes her own decisions, even while knowing that you do not approve.

There are several examples of leaders in the Bible who were not disqualified even though their adult children did not serve God. Eli the priest, Samuel the prophet, and David the king all had adult children who did not follow God’s ways,2 yet God did not reject them as parents for the actions of those children. Each adult child had to suffer the consequences of his own disobedience.

However, it does concern us that you have people in your life who are so judgmental toward you. Those people are judging you in spite of what Jesus Christ Himself, God’s Son, taught: “Do not judge, or you too will be judged.”3

It is very important for you to have a humble attitude, asking others, when they mention your daughter, to pray for her. It is not necessary to tell them all the details, but rather just to say that she is not following the Lord and that you would appreciate it if they would join with you in prayer for her.

We, too, have an adult daughter who is not a follower of Christ. Like your daughter, she has been taught the ways of God, but right now she is choosing not to follow Him. We pray for her, of course, but her spiritual condition does not affect our ability to teach others.

We wish you well,

Linda
____________________
11Ti 3:4-5; Tit 1:5-9
21Sa 2:12-17, 22-25; 8:1-3; 2Sa 13:1–18:33; 1Ki 1:1-53
3Mt 7:1

08/27/2025

Case of the Week #887
LETTER
Ever since I quit my job as a police officer, I’ve wanted to serve God, but I haven’t had the willpower to surrender my life to Him. I want God to help me give up worldly things.

COUNSEL

Dear Friend,

We commend you for sincerely considering what life is like without God, and for your desire to surrender your life to Him. Even demons believe in God,1 so we are glad that you understand that just believing in Him is not enough. To serve God means much more. It means letting Him lead the way, and letting Him serve as our example for our habits, actions, and attitudes.

The reality is that God’s Son, Jesus Christ, does not require that anyone clean themselves up before beginning to follow Him. Have you heard the story of the thief who was crucified next to Christ? That man had done so many wrong things that he had been condemned to die. But before the man died, he acknowledged Christ as the King of a future kingdom, and asked Christ to remember him by giving him a place in that heavenly kingdom after his death.2

When the man asked Christ to remember him, it was his way of saying, “I believe you are the Son of God, and I want to go where you go. Will you take me with you?”

We know that the man didn’t have even one day left to live. That means that he didn’t have time to clean up all his bad habits. But did Christ tell him, “Sorry, you can’t follow me where I’m going; you’re too sinful”?

No, Christ knew that man’s heart. He knew that the man was very sorry for all that he had done wrong. So Christ listened to the man and then said, “Today you will be with me in paradise.”3 In so saying, Christ was acknowledging that the man was going to be His follower, all the way to heaven.

The man then died as punishment for his own sins. Christ, the Son of God, on the other hand, had never sinned. And yet, even though He was innocent, Christ paid the price for my sins and yours. He was the only sinless One who ever lived, and thus was the only One pure enough to take my punishment and yours.

After asking for forgiveness and telling Christ that you want to be His follower, it is important for you to learn everything about Him so that you can follow His example. Read the Bible, beginning in the Gospel according to John, and pray that God would help you to understand what He is saying to you. It is also necessary to find a group or church where the people are followers of Christ and where the teaching will help you know more about the Bible. Tell the people of the church that you are a new follower of Christ and that you need their understanding and guidance.

We wish you well,

Linda
____________________
1Jas 2:19
2Lk 23:42
3Lk 23:43

08/20/2025

Case of the Week #886

LETTER

My husband drinks too much and doesn’t come home. Because of all this, our two sons moved out and only our daughter still lives with us. She once talked with him about his problem, just as I have, but he does all right for a while and then slips back into the same pattern, always putting his friends before his family.

The last time he did this, he went out to drink in his car and three days passed before we knew anything about him. I am desperate! I’ve prayed to God, but I don’t see any change in him....What advice can you give me?

COUNSEL

Dear Friend,

As you may already know, both my father and mother were alcoholics, as well as my stepfather. So I know exactly how your children feel and what they have gone through, and fully identify with the desperation and hopelessness that your family feels. Although I can’t tell you what to do, I can share some general principles that might help you.

I am so sorry that your prayers seem to go unanswered! While it is true that God can do anything, it is also true that He doesn’t force anyone to do things His way. Your husband gets to choose his own path regardless of how destructive that path is. But you, of course, should continue to pray that God will put obstacles in his way so that he will be faced with his addiction and his inability to recover without help.

The reason you believe that your husband puts his friends before his family is that his friends support his way of life and you don’t. When your husband comes home, he feels badly about himself and his actions, but with his friends he feels good and he can forget about the negative consequences of his behavior.

While there are differing opinions on whether alcoholism is the result of a disease, a moral failure, or a combination of the two, there is no disagreement on the cure. Decades of research and experience have shown that alcoholism must be treated with intensive and daily group interaction. Alcoholics must develop friendship and support among others who are fighting the same enemy. That’s why there are groups like Alcoholics Anonymous in almost every place in the world where drinking is legal.

Can God forgive someone with alcoholic behaviors? Of course He can! He loves the alcoholic and wants to forgive. But will God take away the intense craving for alcohol instantly? Usually not. Alcohol addiction is a slow process that gradually changes the brain, and it is an equally slow process to resist those cravings that have been formed there.

As a praying woman, you have access to God Himself. He is the only One who can help you know what to do. Ask Him to show you what is best for you, your daughter, and your husband.

We wish you well,

Linda

08/13/2025

Case of the Week #885

LETTER

My wife and I have been married for four years. The first years were full of happiness and love, but doubts and distrust started to arise on her part toward me—questioning if I’ve been intimate with another woman.... I have spoken to her heart in hand, and have even begged her on my knees to believe me....

She is the woman I love, and I’ve always told her so... but she doesn’t understand... telling me instead that we rushed into marriage.... to which I again tell her that what matters to me is the love I feel for her....

I will never stop trying to do everything I can to make us the beautiful couple we once were. That’s why I’m reaching out to you this way for help.

COUNSEL

Dear Friend,

We are very sorry to hear about the difficulties in your relationship. Unfortunately, many marriages go through this kind of conflict and instability, so you are definitely not alone. We congratulate you for being willing to work on your relationship rather than giving up, as many do.

Our problem in knowing how to help you is that we know nothing about how you and your wife treat each other or communicate with each other. You say that you would like to return to being a “beautiful couple” as you once were, but we don’t know if she believes, like you do, that your beginning years were beautiful, or if, on the contrary, she believes that your marriage had its problems from the very beginning.

You also say that your wife doubts your faithfulness to her. In order for her to think that, there must be times when you are not together with her and she doesn’t know where you are. Do you often get together with friends without your wife being with you? Do you go directly home from work, or do you stop along the way? When are the occasions that she thinks you have time to be unfaithful? You may be totally innocent of everything that she has imagined, but if she doesn’t know where you are, there is more cause for her to wonder.

Because you say that you are willing to do anything to make your marriage work, we recommend that you let your wife track your phone or check it periodically so that she can know where you are at all times. If you have nothing to hide, it shouldn’t matter to you.

We also recommend that you search for an organization that offers marriage counseling, possibly with groups of couples, or for just the two of you. Many larger churches have groups for couples, so that would be a good place to start. A church where there are true followers of Christ could also give you spiritual help and prove to be a blessing. Jesus Christ, God’s Son, cares about your life and your marriage, and He can lead and guide you if you let Him. We advise you to go and seek help even if your wife refuses to accompany you.

We wish you well,

Linda

08/06/2025

Case of the Week #884

LETTER
Seventeen years ago, I had a romantic relationship with the father of my daughter, but after being with him for a while, I found out he was married. By then, I was already pregnant, and it was hard to leave him.

Years later, I accepted Christ as my Savior. I’ve tried to break up with the man, but I can’t—even though we no longer live together. I miss him... and when we see each other, just for him to bring things for our daughter, I suffer in silence.

What am I to do? I can’t forget him, and he goes on with his family.

COUNSEL

Dear Friend,

We hope that you are ready to acknowledge that seventeen years ago this man lied to you and betrayed you. At the same time, he was lying to his wife and has probably been lying to her ever since. He has proven to be an untrustworthy man with no integrity at all. When you think about why you love him, do you remember his lack of honesty and his ability to continue lying for all these years?

We are saddened to know about what your daughter has been going through. She did nothing wrong! You made the decision to have s*x with a man who was lying to you, and he made the decision to be unfaithful to his wife, but your daughter did nothing to deserve this turmoil in her life. She is the innocent victim of her parents’ actions.

Your daughter has you as her closest example. Do you want her to live as you have lived? You are showing her every day how to let a man mistreat her and take away her self-respect.

You say that you’ve tried to break up with the man, but can’t, even though you no longer live together. There are a few reasons why this may be true. The most likely reason is that the man is still manipulating you to get what he wants. Another possible reason is that you have a history of making decisions based on your emotions instead of your reasoning ability. If you let your feelings guide you, you will continue being manipulated by the man for the rest of your life.

We congratulate you for becoming a follower of Christ. Attending church, reading the Bible, and praying are all spiritual disciplines that can make you stronger and help you to break up with the man forever. When we communicate regularly with God, He helps us to make decisions that are right for us even though they may not be easy. He is always looking out for our good.1

We wish you well,

Linda
____________________
1 Ro 8:28

07/30/2025

Case of the Week #883

LETTER

We are a family of five siblings and our father and mother. She has been a good mother.... About a month and a half ago, my father started drinking. As a consequence, he was beaten and almost killed, and now he is very angry. He mistreats my mother and says that we, his children, are worthless.

We have paid my father’s debts and have always helped him.... During our childhood, he mistreated us.... Is it wrong if, when he mistreats our mother, we tell him that what he’s doing is wrong? ... What does the Bible say about honoring your parents?

COUNSEL

Dear Friend,

We are so sorry about how your father has treated you, your mother, and your siblings, both now and when you were a child! All of you have been your father’s victims in spite of how carefully you have treated him and how you have tried to honor him.

It is always difficult to know what to do when there is more than one Biblical teaching that could apply to a situation. You want to know what the Bible says about honoring our parents. One of the Ten Commandments that God gave to Moses tells us to honor our father and our mother,1 but to honor your father does not mean that you have to agree with his words and actions, or that you should allow yourself or your mother to be abused. Nor does it mean that you must support your father’s choices or provide funds to get him out of the natural consequences of his actions.

Another Biblical teaching that applies to your situation was given by the Apostle Paul. He taught that we are to “speak the truth in love, growing in every way more and more like Christ, who is the head of his body, the church.”2 Paul was saying that the way to be more like Jesus Christ is to follow His example of speaking the truth in love. Therefore, our answer to your first question is yes, you should respectfully tell your father that what he is doing is wrong. Of course, he won’t accept it or admit it, but don’t let that stop you from telling him the truth in love.

However, if your father is abusing your mother, then it is also right for you to physically protect her from him. Remember that love never protects sin; it protects people. Consequently, in a spirit of love, you are to protect your mother even though your father disagrees and is angry with you all. He will likely say every evil thought that comes to his mind as a way of manipulating all of you and justifying his own behavior. But remember that God is on your side and that, according to the psalmist David, “God’s a safe-house for the battered, a sanctuary during bad times.”3

We wish you well,

Linda
___________________
1Ex 20:12
2Eph 4:15 (NLT)
3Ps 9:9 (MSG)

07/23/2025

Case of the Week #882

LETTER

I married a man who is not a follower of Jesus Christ.... He sometimes goes to church with me, but he doesn’t like me going very often.... As a matter of fact, I believe it’s because he always wants to control me, since he also doesn’t like it when I visit my parents or go out with them. Lately, we’ve been arguing a lot because of that control he wants to exert over me.

He wants another child, and so do I, but I’m afraid of bringing another child into the world to suffer.... I’m already thirty-seven years old, and I feel like time is running out. I can’t make the decision whether to stay and wait for him to change in order to have another baby, or to separate and be left alone with my daughter.

COUNSEL

Dear Friend,

We can understand why you are not sure of what to do. When you chose to date, and then marry, a man who is not a follower of Christ, you let this man lead you instead of letting Christ lead you. Now you see that it may be impossible to follow his lead as your husband while trying to follow Christ at the same time.

We would love to be able to help you out and give you some advice, but unfortunately there are no easy answers. Instead, we believe that you need to consult with a marriage counselor in order to have some help in working these things out. A professional counselor could identify the controlling behavior, and help the two of you to have a more balanced relationship.

We are concerned that your husband is trying to isolate you from your family as well as your church. However, we have no way to know his side of the story. This is another issue that a counselor could help sort out.

As for having another child, we believe that you are wise to wait. Some people think that a new baby will bring couples close together, but the truth is that a new child usually adds stress to the marriage. If you go to counseling and your marriage relationship improves, that would be the time to consider having another baby. However, if your husband refuses to go to counseling, then we recommend that you go by yourself.

The Apostle Peter taught that the wife should submit to her husband so that, if he does not believe God’s word, it is her conduct that could prove to win him over, with no need for words.1 This teaching may be difficult to follow, but it does suggest that you, as a follower of Christ, can live in such a way that your husband can see Christ in you. However, it does not mean that you must comply with your husband’s wishes if he abuses you in any way, including the emotional abuse of being isolated from all others.

We wish you well,

Linda
____________________
1 1Pe 3:1

07/16/2025

Case of the Week #881

LETTER

I’ve been divorced for ten years. I was left with three daughters, whom I raised with great dedication and effort, taking them to church ever since they were little....

Three years ago, my oldest daughter earned a scholarship to study in a city far from me. I’ve supported her in everything, and she’s done very well in her studies. Three months ago, she wrote to me and told me she has a boyfriend. But now she says she’s going to live with him, someone I don’t even know.... It has left me in shock and so distressed that I don’t know what to do. I would appreciate your wise counsel.

COUNSEL

Dear Friend,

We are very sorry to hear about your situation. We understand how distressed you are that your daughter is not living according to the moral and Biblical standards that you have taught her ever since she was a child.

When young adults leave their homes to attend a university, they have the opportunity to test what they have been taught at home. If they have any doubts about God, or if they have curiosity about other ways of life, those university years provide a setting for them to explore their own beliefs and to learn about the beliefs of others. We, as parents, would like to protect them and guide them, but they may not accept our protection or guidance.

When adult children move away from home while attending a university, their parents have to face the fact that their children are now able to make their own choices and live by their own beliefs. The adult children already know what their parents believe, so it is of no value for the parents to try and convince them that their choices are wrong. Parents who insist on confronting their adult children repeatedly and at every opportunity may cause their children to cease contact with them.

However, parents do not have to approve or accept the actions of their adult children. Instead, they must recognize that those children have the right and the power to make their own decisions. And they must find a way to love and support their children while agreeing to disagree.

Your daughter is a young adult, living on her own and making her own decisions. Since there is no way for you to force her or manipulate her to live by your standards, we recommend that you focus on maintaining a positive relationship with her in spite of your disapproval of her choices.

Jesus Christ is our model for how to show love without approving of sinful behavior. When He walked on the earth, He often encountered sinners, offering them His love without nagging them about their sins. You can do the same.

We wish you well,

Linda

07/09/2025

Case of the Week #880

LETTER

For the past nine years, I’ve been carrying a hidden sin that has brought me serious consequences over the past four months. I’ve spent $28,000 on p**nographic websites, and now I have that debt.... I’ve repented many times.... I feel terrible, and I truly want to quit this addiction and stop sinning.

COUNSEL

Dear Friend,

The large amount of money that you have spent on po*******hy may seem like the most destructive consequence of your addiction. However, although we agree that it is an astounding amount of money and debt, we would argue that the damages inside your brain are even more serious.

Po*******hy features images that seem to be perfect. The more perfect images that you see, the less you will be able to see the beauty in normal, imperfect people. In fact, most people who are addicted to p**n increasingly retreat from normal people, like friends and family, in order to feed their habit in private. Spending time with normal people may be somewhat pleasurable to them, but that pleasure can’t compete with the pleasure that they feel from viewing po*******hy. They have trained their brains to crave the pleasure that comes from p**n and to do whatever it takes to experience that pleasure again. They may virtually abandon their loved ones and spend all the money that they have, even if that means that they can’t pay for rent, food, and transportation.

Please search for Case 7. In the counsel, we describe the changes to your brain when you repeatedly consume po*******hy, as well as list the next steps that anyone should take if they want to overcome their addiction.

However, just knowing and understanding the steps is not enough; you must actually take the actions in that list. For example, if you normally view p**n on your phone, trade it in for a phone without Internet access. Or, if you generally view p**n on your computer, purchase and install software that prevents visiting adult sites. Today, more than ever before, there is software that can protect you from yourself. So if you really are serious about wanting to stop your addiction, you can do whatever it takes to minimize the temptation.

Jesus Christ, God’s Son, taught His followers about temptation. He frequently used a form of exaggeration in his teaching, and the people of His time understood that it was a literary device to make a point instead of a command to be taken literally. So when He taught, “If your right eye causes you to stumble, gouge it out and throw it away,” no one listening thought that they were supposed to put out their own eye.1 Instead, they understood that He was saying that they should do everything in their power to get away from whatever was causing them to sin. Our message to you is the same.

We wish you well,

Linda
____________________
1 Mt 5:29

07/02/2025

Case of the Week #879

LETTER

I’ve been living with my partner for over two years, after almost four years of being in a relationship. And even though we have plans to continue sharing our lives with our children—one of his and two of mine—I can’t accept that his commitments to his ex-wife and daughter come before us.....

I’ve brought it up many times, and now... he hides what he does for them so I won’t get upset. I find out by checking his phone.... I feel so lost! I didn’t realize this before, and I don’t know how to stop it or get him to change.

COUNSEL

Dear Friend,

Your concerns about your partner’s priorities are definitely valid, and you are wise to want to clarify exactly how his funds will be allocated in the future. It is also significant that you feel you cannot trust him, so much so that you are spying on his communications on his phone.

Unfortunately, we believe that you should not continue your relationship with your partner. Disagreements about financial priorities should be significant enough to end the partnership. But when you add the lack of trust, we believe that there is no way for the relationship to survive anyway. The sooner that you accept this fact, the better for you and your children. We feel very sad for all the children who are forced to live with this kind of strife in their homes.

We strongly advise you to make a home for your children where they can have some peace and stability. God’s plan is for you to know a man well before considering a life with him. What are his financial priorities? How does he help his parents, siblings or other relatives? Does he spend money on leisure activities and habits, such as gambling or drinking alcohol, or on expensive hobbies? The answers to these questions should help you to know whether to pursue a relationship with him or not.

However, equally important is whether you can completely trust him. Does he ever lie, even a little bit? Does he hide things from you or justify bad behavior? Does he try to convince you it is paranoid or jealous of you to be concerned about his communication with other people? All of these behaviors are red flags that should tell you that he is not the one for you.

Of course, when you do find the right man, God’s plan is for you to wait to have a physical relationship until you are married.1 The stability of marriage is what both you and your children need.

Lastly, we must tell you that we believe that your partner is right to prioritize the financial needs of his child who is living with his ex-wife. That child came first, and it is honorable of him to not desert or neglect her. You are mistaken to believe that you and your family should have priority over that child.

We wish you well,

Linda
____________________
1 Heb 13:4

06/25/2025

Case of the Week #878

LETTER

I made the worst mistake of my life by being unfaithful to my beloved wife—not just once, but several times—and she found out. As a result, we’ve been separated for almost two months. During this time, I sought God’s forgiveness and found grace in Him.... Now our seven-year-old son is with me because my wife began to neglect him due to the pain caused by my infidelity....

Recently I had a conversation with her, and she told me that she never loved me, that she only married me because she got pregnant with my child outside of marriage. That hurt me....
My question is: Does God want me to fight for my marriage or not? I want to keep fighting.

COUNSEL

Dear Friend,

We are happy to hear that you have asked God’s forgiveness and that you have experienced the grace and forgiveness that He offers. We hope that you have found a church where the people follow Christ and show His love to others by their attitudes and actions. You and your son will greatly benefit from joining a community of followers of Christ where you can both grow in understanding of the Bible and of God’s limitless love for you.

However, your son must be very confused as a result of the turmoil in your lives. Don’t be surprised if he begins to act out his feelings by causing trouble in school or by being rebellious to you and your wife. This is because his age makes it impossible for him to comprehend what is going on in his life, and he needs constant reassurance that you both love him and that it is not his fault that you are no longer living together.

With regard to your wife’s statement that she had never loved you, it may be true, but it also may be her retaliation for your infidelity. You hurt her, so now she may be trying to hurt you.

You say that your wife is experiencing a great deal of pain as a result of your infidelity. She obviously is not ready to consider trusting you again. Your betrayal has wounded her deeply, and it will take a long time for her to heal. Do not expect her to know right now whether or not she will ever be able to trust you enough to resume your marriage.

You ask if God wants you to fight for your marriage. We believe that the answer is yes because Jesus Christ taught that the bonds of marriage join a man and a woman so that they become one.1 Even though your infidelity broke those bonds in two, it is still your responsibility to try and mend them. You should therefore be newly faithful to your wife and work on becoming a man that she can trust. If she were to divorce you and get married again, then you would have no more reason to keep trying.

We wish you well,

Linda
____________________
1 Mt 19:5

06/18/2025

Case of the Week #877

LETTER

My sister started dating a man who doesn’t share our faith.... That man gained our trust, introduced himself to our parents, and asked for my sister’s hand in marriage. Later we found out that she was pregnant.

They had disagreements... and the wedding was called off even though the invitations had already been sent out. I feel angry toward that man. He deceived all of us.

Now my sister has gotten back together with him as if nothing had happened, and she’s still living with us.... She has continued going to church, and for some strange reason I don’t want to go with her.... I don’t say anything to her because I know I’d end up yelling, and I don’t want to affect her pregnancy.... Please help me.

COUNSEL

Dear Friend,

Just reading your words causes us to feel the turmoil of conflicting emotions that you are experiencing! You passionately want to protect your family’s honor and the honor of your faith and convictions. At the same time, you fiercely love your sister and her child, and you want the best for them in spite of the fact that your sister continues to make decisions that you don’t agree with. You perceive that her man is a threat to everything that you hold dear, but you are frustrated and angry that there is nothing you can do to get rid of the threat.

In spite of your roller coaster of emotions, you love your sister and her child enough to restrain all the harsh words that you would like to be able to say to her about her past and future decisions. This is proof that, above all else, your priority is to do what is best for her and the child. You are a loving and caring sister with pure motives, in spite of your anger and frustration.

You confess that you don’t understand your reasons for not wanting to accompany your sister when she goes to church. This is likely because you don’t want anyone to think that you approve of your sister’s decisions. You have a strong desire to show that you remain true to your own convictions while remaining loyal to your sister at the same time. No wonder you are experiencing such turmoil!

Thankfully, you are a follower of Christ, so you have a resource available to you that other people don’t have. You have a close relationship with the One who understands your conflicting emotions better than anyone else ever could. That One, God our heavenly father, loves each one of us and wants to protect us from all harm, but at the same time He restrains Himself from intervening because He respects our free moral agency. Sadly, He has to watch while we make our own foolish choices and then have to suffer the consequences.

Ask God to help you to give up your need to protect your sister, your family, and your faith. Place all your concerns into His capable hands and allow Him to protect what needs protecting. Ask Him to help you show His love in every circumstance, and to give you wisdom in how to manage your emotions in a healthy way.

We wish you well,

Linda

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