Quiet Spaces in Holy Places

08/04/2026

An excellent reminder for all those praying folks. ;)

07/21/2026

Well, it's been a while but I figured I would check in.

I am just as passionate about disability, accessibility, inclusion, strengths, diversity, and seeing the Kingdom on Earth as it is in Heaven.

Professionally, I continue to work in the accessibility nonprofit sector. Most recently, I did an accessibility audit for Cincinnati Observatory, completed a four month accessibility cohort through Cincinnati Children's Hospital, and spent 6 weeks mentoring eight BVI interns. I also continue to serve on the board of Deaf Streetlight and on the national steering committee of Museums for All. I participate in accessibility conferences both in person and virtually. And have spent this month supporting the variety of community partners and individuals as we have all celebrated Disability Pride month together.

Personally, my autistic 18 year old, with a variety of additional disabilities, graduated on time in May! And my own church has started a variety of accommodations to support families and individuals with disabilities to ensure that everyone is able to participate.

So why am I saying all of this? It's not brag.

It's to remind you that I offer my services to churches for free.

I will audit at your church for you, provide basic trainings as needed, connect you with local individuals and service providers and even answer questions that you may not have known where else to ask.

Historically the Church always led with empathy, support, and dignity and was on the forefront of disability care as we followed Jesus in the path which he showed. Currently, we live in a world where people more than 1 in 4 (28%) live with disabilities. Why is the Church now so far behind?

Let's work together to remind our brothers and sisters that we fellowship with at church that the Gospel for all of us and with just a few tweaks, we can better support the "least of these" (aka those most vulnerable and least likely to be able to give back in a traditional sense).

08/28/2025

A must read!

Reading Time: 6 minutes Scripture clearly calls upon the church supporting the physical, emotional, social, and financial needs of the disability community.

05/30/2025

Well, my friends, how have the past 5 years been for you and your church?

Personally, like many families with disabilities, our family went through quite rollercoaster during COVID, especially in our faith journey. Since the last public posts in April 2020, we've changed churches twice as a direct result of inclusive practices. I may speak more about that in future posts. Things got really bad, a few diagnoses were changed/updated, more diagnoses were given to other members of the family (including me), and then a lot of healing happened. In that continual healing, acceptance process, not only has our family, but also our faith has been strengthened.

Professionally, I've learned, practiced, and grown so much in the disability field over the past 5 years. I've attended conferences, joined boards and committee, and have had incredible opportunities to connect with other faith centered, disability minded professionals and individuals with lived experiences. What a joy it has been!

Politically, we must address the elephant in the room. Realistically, the political climate of the last six+ months (years?)
makes this entire topic much more loaded than it needs to be. However, uplifting the personhood of a person with a physical, mental, cognitive, emotional, etc. disability should not be seen as a political act. It's impossible to read the Gospels or the books of Acts without seeing the love, compassion, and dignity that Jesus and his followers poured out on those with disabilities. And we are called to follow him.

Therefore the focus of this page as a source to support churches, ministries, and ministers to become a welcoming space for all to meet Jesus has not changed.

I'm excited to tuck in and tell you of all the amazing updates and new opportunities to support the entire flock have been created since we last spoke. Welcome back. I'm glad you are here.

Send a message to learn more

01/06/2020

Happy New Year!

I hope you have all resolved to make your places of worship more equitable and inclusive this year.

*****************************

Personally, I think, a great way to think of this DEAI work is to think of this question:

"Has everyone been invited to have a seat, a voice, and snacks at your table?"

Everyone - Inclusion (are ALL welcome in your church?)
Seat - Accessibility (can everyone be a part of your church?)
Voice - Diversity (are all voices/gifts utilized in your church?)
Snacks - Equity (are individual needs being met in your church in a fair way?)

******************************

Yesterday, after church, our youth leaders gathered in a room, shared a simple meal, discussed jr/sr high students in general and then prayed over all our students specifically by name. First, we had the opportunity to learn about teenage brains. We discussed super fun words like "amygdala" and "prefrontal cortex." (We can dig into these part of the brain in a later post if you are interested...especially significant for our friends with DD.) Then we talked about therapist Dr. William Glasser and the 5 core things that teens need: survival, love & belonging, power, fun, and freedom, (again, we could discuss more later if interested). After this teaching time, we broke into smaller groups to discuss how our youth group was or was not meeting these five needs.

Quickly into the discussion portion, it become clear that this "love & belonging" portion is vital. Several of us in the room work with and/or foster children whose early years weren't filled with a sense of belonging. Those who don't still work with jr/sr high school students - enough said, right?

******************************

These are such core questions. Who am I? Do people like me? Am I too different? Will people ever like me? Where do I fit in?

How then, as a church, do we respond to that? How do we should love? How do we create a spirit of belonging?

I think we need to purposefully set the table.

It's hard for me to think of setting a table without thinking of Jesus.

Jesus loved a good party!

The first miracle? bringing the best w**e to a wedding feast.
What did he say to Zacchaeus? I'm coming over for dinner.
Where did the lady wash his feet with her tears? reclining at a table
How did the Canaanite women get his praise? by talking about crumbs falling off a table
What happened when Pharisees and others wanted to get to know him? they invited him over for a meal
What did he do to 2000+ and 5000+ people? he fed them
Charges leveled again him and his followers? Drunks and gluttons
Final act with all the Apostles? a supper
(shall I go on?)

Why?

Jesus wasn't food obsessed.

Read Luke 14:7-24.

Jesus was people obsessed.

You share your table with friends. You share your table with people of honor. You share your table with those you honor.

In 2020, may it be our goal to purposely set our table, our church, as a welcoming oasis to all. May we put out a seat for each of them (elevators, closed captioning, fidgets, adapted seating, etc.). May we quiet the our established voices and allow them a chance to speak and use their gifts. May we provide all the good snacks (trainings, adapted lessons, car rides, hang out opportunities outside of Sunday mornings). And may we all be filled with the Spirit who is full of love and belonging.

After all, it's what a carpenter in the Middle East did 2000 years ago and it's still changing the world...

Happy 2020! Let's throw a banquet!

12/20/2019

Christmas Eve service and IWD:

Remember Jesus was THE calm in the midst of chaos.

A sweet baby born in a smelly, loud barn isolated from extended family in a town swollen with extra people and animals.

That is how the King of the Universe chose to enter this broken world.

**********************************

We too have the opportunity to bring Peace to struggling families this weekend. Families who are weary. Families who are isolated. Families who are loud and "weird".

The Christmas season is chaotic enough without adding burnt fingers, full band Christmas carols, and church plays intent on focusing on the performers instead the message that is to be for all people.

So here are some thoughts for your Christmas Eve service:

If you are the type of church that is doing a family service, provide fidgets to ALL kids as they enter and/or tables with white paper/coloring pages and crayons set up in the sanctuary. (Also, remember to have lots of patience!)

If you are the type of church that is doing a song service, be sure to have at least 5 pairs of noise canceling headphones at your sound booth for people to use and a perhaps a couple pairs of amplifiers for our HH friends to use as needed.

If you are the type of service who is doing a candle light service, remember it's basically an accessibility nightmare so tell congregants early (so they can make alternate plans if needed) and use battery operated candles.

If you are the type of church doing a performance (play/choral concert, etc.), prepare like a family service and have fidgets, coloring sheets, and headphones at the ready. Also, be time sensitive. An hour may be stretching it for most of our DD friends. Also, give families plenty of notice for they can plan accordingly.

If you are the type of church that is doing a Sunday morning service on a Tuesday night, talk about the schedule on Sunday morning so the caregivers can talk through the schedule change early and often to prepare.

If you are the type of church that is skipping a Christmas Eve service, bless you. But seriously, let that be known too so families can plan accordingly.

********************************

May this weekend fill us all with peace, love, and joy for the Lord has come!

"And the angel said to them, 'Fear not, for behold, I bring you good news of great joy that will be for ALL the people. For unto you is born this day in the city of David a Savior, who is Christ the Lord.'"

Merry Christmas!

12/06/2019

"How to Support Families During the Holidays: church edition"

Put their names on the Angel tree? Stop by with a plate full of cookies? Exclude from the Holiday party invites because you think it will be too much stress for the family and so you are doing them a favor?

Well, eh, no, not really. Most families have enough "things"/ manage their child's diet very closely/don't want to be left out just because they come with extra needs.

Here's 4 gifts families really want this year:

1. The gift of time together

2. The gift of time apart

3. The gift of being seen beyond the disability, prolonged illness, recent death, single parent, (insert favorite isolating situation here)...

3. The gift of being remembered

So how? Here are a couple ideas (feel free to add more in the comments)

- if you think they are in financial difficulty (and they most likely are - disabilities aren't cheap!), offer the parents/caregivers Visa/Mastercard/Amazon gift cards so they can go out and shop for their families in a way that gives dignity and allows them to celebrate their child(ren).

- if you still want to give something tactile because gift cards feel icky and impersonal (I get it), instead of offering toys to children (who probably have different toy needs than their peers), do a little research. Offer the family special experiences. Is your local ballet doing a sensory friendly Nutcracker performance? gift those tickets. Is the local theater seeing captioned movies to Deaf families? Buy them a family pack of tickets to get them a much needed night out at the movies. What experiences do you and your families take for granted that you could share with a family who generally can't?

*Remember to check with the parents/caregivers, especially if giving anything that comes with dates and times attached!*

- Offer to pick up their grocery/Christmas shopping/etc when you are already going to be out at the store. The beauty of Clicklist and store pickups is that you can run those errands for them while they are assured to get the items their families need and pay for it themselves!

- Offer to babysit. Seriously. Seriously!

"Babysit? That kid? I can't do that. I'm not trained for that. What if I do something wrong or trigger a meltdown or they aspirate on their feeding tube or I say something intensive when I’m not thinking or or or...???"

Believe me, I hear you! I guarantee that the parents hear you.

Before they leave, they will train you. Listen to their instructions. Take notes.

When they leave, if they even leave past their driveway, the volume on their phone will be turned up all the way and they will probably be constantly texting you the entire time.

Be patient. Be gentle. Caregivers are NOT used to this gift. It’s more than a little anxiety riddling. It’s a very scary trust exercise. BUT it needs to happen! Caregivers need moments of self-reflection, fun, and just a wee bit of pampering too. They also need time to shop for Christmas presents. They need moments of “normal” to refresh and remember their own selves that often gets so wrapped up in the identities of those in their care.

Beyond that, it’s good for the kids. How many other adults are in your kids’ lives? Youth group leader. Your small group friends. The families you go out to church with on Sundays after church. Your neighbor. Hopefully you are building a strong community to surround your child for moments when they just need to talk to someone else, to learn from someone else, to hear the exact same thing you’ve say 80 billion times from someone else. Kids with disabilities need the same thing.

So pull out a couple dusty board games, grab your favorite DVDs, print out a couple fun, make together recipes (asking caregiver about diet needs of course) and head over to their house. Give everyone, including yourself, a break and enjoy!

- Text/message the caregivers encouragement. Not just “how are you doing?” But quick, encouraging texts that don’t require responses.
Bible verses.
A random joke.
“I saw how you handled your daughter’s meltdown on Sunday morning and I wanted to let you know that it encouraged me to try something similar with my son this week. Thanks for modeling such amazing parenting.”
“I’m praying for you and your family this Holiday season. Caleb has really grown up this year and Lily is so sweet. Well done, mama.”
“I know things are really tough right now but I see you and I’m here. Remember that time we went to (inside joke/connected story). That was great. I’m looking forward to doing that again with you in the future. I'm glad God put us in each other's lives”

Basically if someone would have sent it in a card a generation ago, message it now.

- Spend time with the family in their house. Help the caregivers on a project they've want to get done but haven't had the time/mental injury to do including but not limited to: laundry, putting up Christmas light, hanging pictures, hanging shelves, fixing the front porch light, organizing the spice rack. Obviously it can be anything. Anything that can be done can be done better with a friend at your side.

- Invite them to your Christmas parties. They WANT to celebrate with you. They may not be able too. A last minute meltdown or medication change disrupts plan. But that's okay! Let them know that you are flexible. They are invited but they are also invited to stay home.

- Give a hug if you (and they) are a hugger. Pat their arm if you are an arm patter. Touch can be a very healing thing.

A couple additional notes:

1. Let's not forget our friends in nursing homes or other housebound situation this holiday season (or any other time of time for that matter). They still want to be seen and celebrated with too. Visit them and listen to their stories.

2. Think of the single parent households. Almost all that I’ve written above applies to them too. Remember dignity and equity. These single moms and dads work HARD to provide with their young ones and as such they don’t have time for all the school expectations, church expectations, work expectations, and family expectations that come this time of year. And they are just left with guilt. Jesus wasn’t born in a stable to guilt people for not being a Pinterest worthy room mom. Find ways to include these families in your church’s celebrations this year too. After all, the entire story starts with an unwed mother and an embarrassed fiancé. Jesus was born into this shame. He knows their story. He’s lived it. Walk with them.

3. The holidays can be an isolating time as most go about their merry way and others are left with only their thoughts of times before or hopes crushed. Since we are The Church we know that Christmas is more than presents, cookies, and singing special songs. Help others remember and embrace hope, love, and, yes, even joy.

11/12/2019

Someone in this group messaged me the other day about a situation in their community and after talking to this person about it for a while I figured this may be useful for everyone too.

Q: "What do you do about violent kids? Do they have to stay in class? Can you ask a parent to sit with the kid? What if this is the only respite the parent gets during the week."

A: Great questions!

As a bit of self-disclosure this line of questioning is extremely personal for me as these questions could have easily been written about my DD child and our family.

First, the intent with this page is to not make anyone a professional care provider. It is to provide resources and options to help tear down long held barriers that prevent others from knowing Christ. That said never, NEVER FEEL FORCED to put yourself or your class in unsafe situations!

Violent kids do not need to stay in your class, especially if they are currently being violent.

However, and stick with me here, "violent kids" CAN stay in your class.

So let's explore what that may look like:

Option A (the first timer): Parent drops off child and runs away. Child begins exhibiting violent behaviors (throwing supplies, smacking another child, slamming own head in the wall repeatedly, etc.). Send someone to find the parent. In the meantime, keep everyone safe. STAY CALM. Remember this child is a new place surrounded by new people. The child is more scared than you are. ANGER is ALWAYS a second emotion. Separate (keep in room if possible) and distract the child with fidgets, weighted blanket, and other aids until parent arrives. Chat with parent to encourage and help build a strategy for a successful next time. Parent can stay in room or take the child out with them. Do not embarrass the parent!

Option B (another first timer): Parents drops off child and apologetically starts listing all you need to know about their child. THANK THEM! They are trusting you! Many, many, many parents of extreme children will not get to this step. This right here is what keeps families from the church. Also, LISTEN TO THEM! They are the expert. They know their child. They are not being a "helicopter parent." They are trying to set you all up for success. Accept the headphones, protein bars, fidgets, or whatever else they hand you. If the child has an incident, remember what they told you and respond accordingly. Try what they recommend and if nothing works, send for the parent. Remember: STAY CALM. This child is a new place surrounded by new people. The child is more scared than you are. ANGER is ALWAYS a second emotion. If it does work, update the parent after class. Do not just brush it off as "all was great." I promise you parents like this are trackers and want to take note of everything. They will appreciate you listened and tried and will probably try your church again.

Option C (the return visit): Once a family has visited two or three times or have always been regular attenders, this is where it’s time to get a plan gets put into place:

- Again start by praying about this. God knows each situation far beyond what I do. Then talk to the parent.
- Always have a second adult in the class with you (that should be your church standard anyway) to be a back up if/when needed.
- If possible, get a 1:1 for this child. Think of them as a buddy or mentor or whatever. If possible, a man. Obviously, not always possible. If it’s a younger child, even a male high school buddy could be a great idea. As they get to know each other, the buddy will see the triggers and aggressive signals and hopefully be able to head off those moments when everything becomes too much. Also the kid will has a friend to look forward to. (Not to cross too many lines but find a way to communicate with parent if the buddy won’t be there. Believe me, unknown plans being changed won’t be good for anyone.)
- I know this may sound crazy but if the child is attention seeking, give them attention. You aren’t their parent. You aren’t there to teach them how to behave. (They have parents and perhaps a team of doctors working on that.) You are there to show them Jesus. Jesus said, “Let the little children come to me.” He didn’t say, “teach those unruly ones how to sit quietly.” You don’t know what is happening outside your class/youth group. You can only control what’s happening in your room and in there should be Love, Joy, Peace, Patience, Kindness, Goodness, Faithfulness, Gentleness, and Self Control.
- Create a toolbox with fun fidgety things. Let the child pick something out to fidget with for the day when they first walk into class. Bonus points if you can get fidgets into the hands of all the kids to not other the “violent kid.” 4th grade and up, I pass out pipe cleaners while teaching to keep hands busy, minds clear, and ears open.
- Create a quiet zone for the child to go when he/she starts feeling overwhelmed. You obviously don’t want to get to violence. Believe me, neither does the child. There is a whole shame/fear/self-loathing cycle that is at play there and no one is a winner. Give them space to gather themselves.
- Try to find a way to tell the child what is happening next before it happens to help cut down on outbursts based on transitions. This could be done as a laminated sheet if you have the same routine week to week. Then let the child have a dry erase marker to check off each step as your move along.
- Know when to bring in the parent BUT, yes, do TRY to provide respite for the parent(s). They understand it’s a big ask. They don’t want anyone hurt. They don’t want to scare anyone. But they live this literally every second of their day. If there needs to be a trust building process, let it happen. “For the first month, mom/dad is going to sit in here with us. The next month, mom/dad is going to leave after _______ (name the activity). And then after that, they will leave you at the door and be there as soon as class is over.” Remember relationship building is a long game.
- Know that some days are going to be better than others. And that’s true for all of us.

Okay I’m going to leave us there for now.

Thank you so much for asking questions! Please, please, please feel free to ask more.

11/06/2019