06/03/2025
These pictures are two weeks apart, and while just looking at them they seem to have no relation to each other, but for me, l'm overjoyed to look at them.
In the first photo, I am headed to a women's conference; that I was honestly nervous about. I felt broken and hopeless, fearing the unknown. The theme was "I go to the rock" and I had been going to the rock since my miscarriage, but with every pregnancy announcement and baby event, I had more "why" questions. Why couldn't my baby live too? Why am I not getting pregnant now? Why did this happen? In the first photo, I was probably spending too many nights visiting my memory box picturing what my life was supposed to look like.
At the women's conference, the speaker ended up sharing about some miscarriages of her own, and all I could do was cry while she spoke. I was asked to speak, and I found myself not knowing what to say but to share where I was at and I cried the entire time sharing. I felt so broken, but little did I know I was already pregnant.
The second photo is just about two weeks later. I went to take another test that I was almost positive would be negative again, I barely had any hope while taking it, but I figured I would rather go ahead and be disappointed. I can't even explain the feeling I had when I came back to the bathroom and saw the positive.
I was overwhelmed by God's timing and Him giving me this little life I desired so desperately. He gave me peace in so many different ways right from the start. I expected to have so much anxiety if I was to be pregnant again, but no, God brought peace instead.
There are some questions I will never have the answers to earthside, but I have never faced something where God has not seen me through. I see Him in every mountain and valley.
He's never let me down and even through valleys I grow with Him.
- Callie
