05/12/2026
BREAKING NEWS:
Karen called me yesterday evening with some disturbing information. While she was out doing her daily patrol of the neighborhood, checking for HOA violations and mailboxes violating the International Mailbox Design Standards Act (1934), she witnessed a harrowing scene.
Karen states that when she approached the center of the neighborhood bearing colorful art pieces designed to look like children’s toys, she saw something she couldn’t believe: children playing on it. She states the terrorist tots were disruptively loud, disturbing the neighborhood’s quiet peace.
Karen immediately drew her phone to contact the authorities. She states they did not show up, but believes they are planning to conduct an undercover operation to bring justice to the perps.
When asked how she felt about her traumatic experience, Karen stated the following:
“I just couldn’t believe it. These little DEVIANTS were making a RUCKUS in a place clearly not meant for them. Why don’t they get a job? The only thing that fenced area should be used for is my beloved little Sh*tz-a-Poo, Princess Sparkles’ potty breaks.”
This is still a developing story, and updates will be published as they are received. Please keep Karen and the HOA in your prayers.
*This post and associated image contain satirical depictions of (exaggerated) fictional characters. Any resemblance to any individuals, fictional or real, is purely coincidental and should not be considered as a representation of any views, opinions or actual occurrences.*
(While this post is obvious satire, scenarios similar to this one play out all over the coast every day. You should be mindful of this and hold your friends and neighbors accountable if they behave in this manner. Let the damn kids play, Karen.)
