05/04/2026
SPEAKING AND ACTING IN RESPONSE TO HURTS.
People defer on how they speak and react when they are hurt. Some people tell you they would ‘say it as it is.’ Others may shy away from doing so. They want to be diplomatic in their choice of words and in their actions.
How then should we speak or react when we are offended and hurt?
We can speak the way we feel when other people hurt us. Yes, we can. We can speak what is in our minds to a person who has hurt us, but with a consideration of our manner of approach, and the restraining factor of the age of the concerned. When we express how we feel, we must endeavor to be respectful; mind our tone of voice; and resist the temptation of allowing our words to pass across as angry tirade. When we speak to persons in our age group, we could be more blunt than when we approach an elder with our concerns.
We must leave room for tolerance and with the hindsight that those who offend us may not have meant to do so. Better put, they may have been predisposed with other issues prior to their encounter with us. We must make room for the excuses our offenders would give, whether the reasons are convincing or not.
However, as Christians, we must weigh our words and actions first before we respond, even when we are hurting from offenses.
In his correspondence and counsel to the Corinthian church, Apostle Paul asked a rhetorical question thus, ‘Why do ye not rather take wrong? Why do ye not rather suffer yourselves to be defrauded?’ (1 Corinthians 6:7b).
We can allow issues to pass, no matter how grievous they seem. As a matter of fact, certain issues are better left with the mindset that they are non provocative. We can actually consider ourselves as having the grace to forgive other’s offenses.
If we don’t forgive offenses and we seek to revenge our hurts, then we would be working the resolution of an otherwise easy matter with anger. In this case, it should come to mind that anger does not work the righteousness of God (James 1:20).
Therefore, we must seek to forgive, explain away wrong words and actions, walk in love, and seek peace with all men, as much as it is possible (Romans 12:18).
Let us also remember that our words and actions do sometimes hurt others unknowingly. Let us speak soft words, mitigate our gestures, and lighten our countenance when we address hurts. And, let us allow others to respond to what we put before them before we run riots in our minds, words and actions.
Remain blessed and be a better version of yourselves, my readers.
Article by Dr Musa Yesufu.
