03/11/2024
🎵 Follow the prophet, follow the prophet, Follow the prophet; don’t go astray. Follow the prophet, follow the prophet, Follow the prophet; he knows the way🎵
LDS prophet: "Polygamy is required for exaltation!"
Mormons: "Ok! Let's be polygamists!"
The LDS church: "Stop that! We didn’t say that, don’t mention this to anyone and pretend it never happened!"
🎵Follow the prophet, follow the prophet, Follow the prophet; don’t go astray. Follow the prophet, follow the prophet, Follow the prophet; he knows the way🎵
LDS prophet: “Adam is god, the Ancient of Days, and he is the only god with whom we have to do!”
Mormons: “Ok! Adam is our god!”
The LDS church: “Stop that! We didn’t say that, don’t mention this to anyone and pretend it never happened!"
🎵Follow the prophet, follow the prophet, Follow the prophet; don’t go astray. Follow the prophet, follow the prophet, Follow the prophet; he knows the way🎵
LDS prophet: “Preach the Book of Mormon to dark skinned people, it will turn their skin white!”
Mormons: “Ok! I’ll even donate my pure blood to speed up the process!”
The LDS church: “Stop that! We didn’t say that, don’t mention this to anyone and pretend it never happened!”
🎵Follow the prophet, follow the prophet, Follow the prophet; don’t go astray. Follow the prophet, follow the prophet, Follow the prophet; he knows the way🎵
LDS prophet: “Black people can never have the priesthood or enter into the Celestial Kingdom!”
Mormons: “Ok! Makes sense since the Book of Mormon says they’re cursed by god!”
The LDS church: “Stop that! We didn’t say that, don’t mention this to anyone and pretend it never happened!”
🎵Follow the prophet, follow the prophet, Follow the prophet; don’t go astray. Follow the prophet, follow the prophet, Follow the prophet; he knows the way🎵
LDS prophet: “We will be gods that rule over our own planets one day!"
Mormons: “Ok! That’s cool - I hope my planet is pretty!"
The LDS church: “Stop that! We didn’t say that, don’t mention this to anyone and pretend it never happened!”
🎵Follow the prophet, follow the prophet, Follow the prophet; don’t go astray. Follow the prophet, follow the prophet, Follow the prophet; he knows the way🎵
LDS prophet: “Dare to be a Mormon! Dare to make it known!"
Mormons: “Ok! I’ll make my profile image a picture that says, ‘I AM A MORMON!’“
The LDS church: “Stop that! We didn’t say that, don’t mention this to anyone and pretend it never happened!”
🎵Follow the prophet, follow the prophet, Follow the prophet; don’t go astray. Follow the prophet, follow the prophet, Follow the prophet; he knows the way🎵
LDS prophet: “We cannot and will not lead you astray!”
Mormons: “Ok! Thank you, O’ wise and wonderful prophet!”
ExMormons: 😐