The Church of Elder Arnold Cunningham of Latter-day Saints

10/09/2016

TURN IT OFF!!!

http://appleplugs.com/

09/05/2016

Late for Mother's Day, but that's OK because

19/03/2016

Trump loves Mormons and he wants some more!

GOP presidential frontrunner Donald Trump said Friday, do I love the Mormons, at a campaign rally in Salt Lake City, then asked whether Mitt Romney, the party's 2012 nominee, was really a Mormon.

28/12/2015

Spoiler Alert! This book will change your life!

12/12/2015

12/11/2015

May each of us follow the wise counsel of Elder Samuel L. Jackson of the Quorum of the Badasses. Amen.

06/11/2015

Not so fast, Mormons! You shall not exclude children from being baptized!

06/11/2015

Boba Fett is sad about the Church's new (but totally necessary) new policy regarding children who are clones:

A new section in the Starship Enterprise Handbook, Section 42.42 will be added as follows:

Children Created by Cloning
A cloned child of a parent may not receive a name and a blessing.
A cloned child of a parent, whether cloned on the planet Kamino or elsewhere in the galaxy, may be baptized and confirmed, ordained, or recommended for missionary service ONLY as follows:
A church leader may request approval from the Office of the Prophet Elder Arnold Cunningham to baptize and confirm, ordain, or recommend missionary service for a cloned child when he is satisfied by awkward, probing personal interviews that both of the following requirements are met:
1. The child accepts and is committed to live the teachings and doctrine of the Church, and specifically disavows the practice of cloning human children (and turns off any urges toward being gay).
2. The child is of legal age and does not live with a parent who has engaged in cloning.
All who violate this policy are subject to being thrown to the Almighty Sarlacc to meet his or her doom.

01/10/2015

These Elders are going to be the Mormons who change all of Mankind! But Mostly Me.

28/09/2015

Please bless that this sweet family can find a Mormon cat. But if not, surely they can find one to baptize!

05/09/2015

Heavenly Father is giving America a Spooky Mormon Hell Dream because of its gay thoughts!

16/08/2015

A new revelation!