27/11/2020
FORGIVENESS
Ayella John Bosco
November 27, 2020·
"There is nothing greater than Forgiveness to live peaceful, forgive if you so wish". From this phrase that I love the most let me explain the word FORGIVENESS briefly. The quote is what I always recall when I see that peace has escaped from my mind, heart and soul after being wronged or wronging someone.
‘WHAT IS FORGIVENESS?’
To break the egg carefully, I want to bring your memory forward by defining what forgiveness is. Many people have different definitions according to one owns feeling but the end result must be peace after forgiveness is reached. According to Oxford Advanced Learners Dictionary, Forgiveness is as a noun (To Forgive) means ' to stop feeling angry with somebody who has done something to harm, annoy, or upset you. It is also to stop feeling angry with yourself. Two fold issues are plain here: One, being angry with someone else because of his/her acts which disturbed your feeling and peace of mind or heart. Two, being angry with your own self, you might have not meet the dateline for a certain plan, you might have failed in an interview, may be you were late in a party and didn't get the front bench, you ultimately become angry with yourself, you blame yourself, you could utter curses bitterly as if someone contributed to your failures. One should know that the impact of unforgiven spirit both within or without is always negative in a daily live movement. (There is nothing greater than forgiveness to live peaceful, forgive if you so wish)
WHY IS FORGIVENESS IMPORTANT.
Whether you forgive once and for all or forgive and don't forget the wrong, you have choice. Check below what I have for you in connection to forgiveness.
It helps promote peace of mind.
As the quote above reads, I experienced this several times when confronted by some unforgivable situations, (Confidential situation). Truly, I was like mad man, I could talk alone when moving around, I could forget things easily and quickly, when somebody talked to me, I would perceive the aural messages slowly and just bang like one in a nightmare. This took almost three months until I met a close friend who studied my situation and counselled me and his last word to me was, Bro. We all have challenges, others are good and others are bad, when confronted by any, just forgive even if you are right. Friends, that was it, the first trial came, I forgave, second, third, forgave, forgave, and I realise I was peaceful and improving greatly in my memory/mind.
It restores our relationship with our Creator.
After sinning, the only reconnecting bridge with God is Forgiveness, feeling sorry for what you have done and asking Him to forgive you. 1 John 1:7-10
It renews fellowship with one another.
Where there is misunderstanding, annoyances, the parties involved would not live together. For instance, President Kiir and Dr. Riak would NOT live together the rest of their lives so long as they continue to blame each other, giving conditions and making reservations, therefore, that former fellowship the two principals had, would not be abridged unless they forgive themselves and each other.
It nourishes love affairs and marital duties.
Hey! Why are you late? Who is calling you? Where have you been? I heard that you have received some money? Didn't I tell you? You are wrong! These are marital problems asking questions. If any of the above is not well explained, dak bi wala and this leads to recurring conflicts which may lead to immorality in this family (mention them) However, where forgiveness is sang by every lips of a wrongdoer (knowing that there is no one who is perfect 1 John 1:8, 10) even in marriage, it matures and plants peace. Try this and see! There are so many but you can make some research to find out the importance of Forgiveness.
It releases one from stressing situations.
it is only through forgiveness does one finds rest in his or heart, unforgiving heart is like carrying a bag of cement and climbing a hilltop, it is painful, stressful and turbid. If you want to be free, even if you are right or on the wrong side just forgive and you will feel free and move on. Don’t allow someone to be a problem to your struggle or peace.
Forgiveness heals wounds.
In the story of the prodigal son, we see that both the son and father have been suffering for each other, the son missed the love of the father, the father missed to love the son. But when the two agreed to forgive each other, they celebrated a lot. You too can celebrate if you have a spirit of forgiveness
HOW SHOULD FORGIVENESS BE DONE?
Matthew in his book, explains how a sinning brother is pardoned. " Moreover if thy brother shall trespass against thee, go and tell him his fault between thee and him alone: if he shall hear thee, thou hast gained thy brother. But if he will not hear [thee, then] take with thee one or two more, that in the mouth of two or three witnesses every word may be established. And if he shall neglect to hear them, tell [it] unto the church: but if he neglects to hear the church, let him be unto thee as a heathen man and a publican. Matthew 18: 15-17
#1) Meet the person: I know it is not easy to meet a person and explain to him his wrongs or your wrongs. It is very difficult because no one wants to be guilty but the fact is you are already guilty. The procedures below apply to both within and without.
Step1: Call the wrongdoer privately and explain what hurt you the most that is caused by him. Just tell him, it didn't make you happy, I guessed he would accept the mistakes - Forgive him. Step2; If he didn't accept your call, get one or two friends and approach him with the same complain, point out clearly before your friends too. If it works, good, if not, try again later. Step3: Involve the Church, or the community leaders and do the same. The Bible says if he would not listen even to the church or community leaders, have nothing to do with him. But will you be peaceful, will you be happy? Certainly Not! It will force you to throw down human law, like my brother who is too reactive to a situation, you will never enjoy living so long as your victim is visible always. Follow the next option
#2) Forgive Silently; My suggestion is that, apart from the above procedure which seem to be too long, just without telling the person openly, from within your heart forgive and let the problem go, let the anger go! You shall be free. From your heart silently, if you release an offender, you relieved yourself. Don't bother yourself to meet the person, in fact when you meet just stay more closely than by then, let him realise alone, I tell you, you have won the battle.
WHEN AND HOW MANY TIMES SHOULD YOU FORGIVE A SINNING PERSON?
Jesus was confronted by one of his disturbing apostle Peter who wanted to know how many times he should forgive in case he is wronged. Curiously, Peter just used a nearest example calling the wrongdoer to be a brother and surprisingly imagine the response of Jesus Christ:
" 21 Then Peter came to Him and said, ' Lord, how often shall my brother sin against me, and I forgive him? Up to seven times?' 22. Jesus said to him, ' I do not say to you, up to seven times, but up to seventy times seven '. Matthew 18:21-22.
The above verses answered the question of when and how many times to forgive a sinner or wrongdoer. It applies to whoever got grudges in his heart against a brother. You are hence to forgive a brother seventy times seven. Let us sum up this and see; 70×7=490 times for only the same sinning brother/person in a day or recurring phases. Imagine that he is not the only one, you too might be wrong somewhere, will you concentrate on your brother's issues or you have to handle yours first? Boldly saying, you have no limitations to forgive and be forgiven, it should be done; * Any time * All the time * Every day so long as time lives!
Peter wanted to justify himself but what Jesus told him proved him pendulous, I guessed he might have forgiven his brother three times that very day before fellowshipping with Jesus. It was a connection of how to forgive a sinning brother in Matthew 18:15-17.
From here, my friends, brethren, my distinguished listeners and readers, Forgiveness is not a word to be said but an action to be done, it yields nothing if the lips shout it aloud, " I forgive you!" or " Forgive me!" The truth is, do it from your heart, sincerely, you would be free from all the negative impacts of forgiveness in your life. When you don't forgive, count yourself very sick and when you don't feel sorry and ask for forgiveness, you are a dead living being.
Regardless of your status quo, age, family background, religious affiliation, you are not perfect in every second. I repeat, it is a choice wither to forgive or be forgiven. 1 John 1:7-10 has more for you.
Today, don't talk but act and you shall be released and relieved. If you don't, you shall always be held up and bounded. ((((There is nothing greater than forgiveness to live peaceful, forgive if you so wish or remain in your ordeals.)))). Amen!
Or do you find it difficult to forgive someone who has wronged you? Doesn’t he or she want to accept your forgiveness? Let us pray with you if you so wish. Could be so with your husband, your wife, your in-law, your boss, your neighbor, your friend, your pastor, your fiancée, your teacher etc. calm down and think how you have benefited from the unforgiving situation if not then forgive!
Be blessed
(. John Bosco.)
