27/04/2026
DARVO AMONG CHRISTIANS
Gossip increases when truth increases.
There is a correlation between people being confronted with the truth, and then people gossiping about the person that confronted them with the truth.
Why is this?
People get offended when the truth exposes them.
That's because they would rather appear great, even if it's false, than appear low, even if it's true.
It's fundamentally insecurity, which can prevent maturity.
The person presenting the truth is always called "offensive."
Yes, they are offensive.
They offended your insecurity.
They offended your deception.
The offended your falsehoods.
The house of cards you've presented as a mansion has fallen, and now you are naked and ashamed.
When you're walking in the darkness of deception, the light of the truth enrages you.
How do you solve this rage?
By tearing down the one who exposed the truth through gossip, devaluing their character so you can convince others not to listen.
When your reputation matters more than God's glorification, you will exchange truth for lies, so long as it makes you look better.
This is what psychologists call DARVO - Deny, Attack, Reverse Victim/Offender:
Deny (you were the problem)
Attack ("you are offensive")
Reverse Victim and Offender ("the real problem is your tone to me, not what I did and got caught for")
People will "admit they were wrong" in front of the right people while simultaneously becoming furious you caught them and reversing the narrative.
The Pharisees did this to Jesus in John 8:45-59, and unfortunately our insecurity can lead us Christians to do it to one another.
DARVO hurts Christians.
DARVO hurts the church.
DARVO hurts non-Christians.
If you are confronted with the truth, it may be offensive. Their tone may even be offensive. *But do not reverse the narrative*. You were caught, and the truth was proclaimed. *That* is the focus of what happened.
Do not deny.
Do not attack.
Do not reverse victim.
Do not reverse offender.
If we're wrong, *then we're wrong*. We will deal with the other issues surrounding the exposing of our wrongness at another time.
The truth hurts because the truth transforms.
Don't stop its power because it is painful.
Keep Thinking!
+ The Christian Think Tank PH +