19/05/2024
The Familiarity trap
One of the traps people fall into when dealing with their leaders is familiarity. Familiarity can be the enemy of honor. What does it mean to
be familiar? You fall into the familiarity trap when you think you are on your leader’s level. When you begin to see/treat them as your friend rather than a God-ordained leader. Avoid becoming so familiar with your leader
that they seem more like a friend than a God-ordained authority. This will protect you. I have seen people grow familiar with their leader and before they realize it, they have gone down the slippery slope into dishonor. I
have talked with leaders, and this frustrates them greatly because in thebeginning, their team members were on time, honorable, and respectful. Familiarity too frequently causes servants to become casual rather than
honorable. Their spirit of excellence slips away.
Paul tells us to, “Outdo one another in showing honor” (Romans 12:10 ESV). Focus on honoring your leaders rather than being their buddy. There may be a friendship that develops between you and your leader, but
allow your leader to open the door to developing it. If and when a friendship does develop, be ever vigilant to maintain a high level of respect and honor for them. Over the years serving in ministry together, my Pastor and I have become friends. However, I always consider him Pastor first, friend second. If your relationship with your leader develops into friendship, always consider them leader first, friend second. This will keep you from
falling into the familiarity trap and operating outside of honor.
Don't try to be their best friend. Be their best servants!
"I cringe when I hear people talk to their leader disrespectfully, calling them by a nickname or addressing them casually like, “Hey bro!” or
using casual terms like “dude”. Nicknames may be fine if you have been instructed to by your leaders, but if your leader is a pastor call them “Pastor”. If they instruct you not to call them Pastor, ask them what they would
like to be called. If your leader is not a pastor call them Mr./Mrs./Miss or Sir/Ma’am unless told otherwise. Defer to them, honor them with your addressment of them. This is one way to maintain a high level of respect.
Remember when you were in grade school you called your teacher Mr. or Mrs.? It was a sign of respect because they were an authority figure." -Ptr Gary Montoya
Recently, when taking my car to get an oil change, the attendant said, “How’s it going boss?” and “What can I do for you, boss?” I realized this was something they did to all their clients being served. This was a simple
sign of respect and made me feel honored. We all like to be treated with respect.
When talking to your leaders, always respond with the utmost respect, “Yes sir” or “Yes ma’am”. Sometimes in my mind, I remind myself God has appointed this leader as an authority in my life. I remind myself of
the weight of their role, so I never take it lightly. This may shock you, but Paul tells Timothy to serve Christian leaders even better than unbelieving leaders.
When talking to your leaders, always respond with the utmost respect, “Yes sir” or “Yes ma’am”. Sometimes in my mind, I remind myself God has appointed this leader as an authority in my life. I remind myself of
the weight of their role, so I never take it lightly. This may shock you, but Paul tells Timothy to serve Christian leaders even better than unbelieving leaders.
“Bondservants regard their own masters as worthy of all honor, so that the name of God and the teaching may not be reviled.
Those who have believing masters must not be disrespectful on the ground that they are brothers; rather they must serve all the
better since those who benefit by their good service are believers and beloved.” (1 Timothy 6:1-2 ESV)
Kingdom Honor
