06/07/2021
THE CHRISTIAN MARRIAGE VOW
BY ANTHONY OYEDEJI
1. WHAT IS MARRIAGE?
Contrary to popular opinion. The Christian marriage is more than a mere partnership. It is more than an ordinary union. It is a covenant union between a man and his wife, who have vowed to enter a lasting relationship, before men and God.
Genesis 2:18,24; Matthew 19:5-6
A. What is so special about a Covenant?
To a Christian, a covenant is a binding agreement between too parties, with God as witness; and it is sealed the exchange of tokens, for a memorial, and blood (usually of animals) by the parties involved.
In the Old Testament, the tokens will usually be in the form of a coat or any clothing that has been worn by the parties. An animal will be slaughtered and cut into two equal halves, which will be placed side-by-side, a couple of yards apart and the covenantors are then made to walk through the space in-between while pronouncing the terms of the covenant.
The parties will them cook or roast the animal and eat the meat together.
Each party will also go home with the exchanged tokens.
Should any of the covenantors contravene the terms of the covenant, they will suffer the consequences pronounced during the covenant.
Such was the relationship between David and his friend Jonathan (1 Samuel 18:1,3). This was the reason why David had to take care of Mephibosheth, the surviving son of Jonathan, after his death. The kindness of King David to Mephibosheth was a would suffer the consequence. God hates covenant breakers. (2 Samuel 9:1-7).
B. WHAT DOES THE BIBLE SAY ABOUT COVENANT BREAKERS?
Deuteronomy 23:21-22 ESV
"IF YOU MAKE A VOW TO THE LORD YOUR GOD, YOU SHALL NOT DELAY FULFILLING IT, FOR THE LORD YOUR GOD WILL SURELY REQUIRE IT OF YOU, AND YOU WILL BE GUILTY OF SIN. [22] BUT IF YOU REFRAIN FROM VOWING, YOU WILL NOT BE GUILTY OF SIN.
ECCLESIASTES 5:5-6 ESV
IT IS BETTER THAT YOU SHOULD NOT VOW THAN THAT YOU SHOULD VOW AND NOT PAY. [6] LET NOT YOUR MOUTH LEAD YOU INTO SIN, AND DO NOT SAY BEFORE THE MESSENGER THAT IT WAS A MISTAKE. WHY SHOULD GOD BE ANGRY AT YOUR VOICE AND DESTROY THE WORK OF YOUR HANDS?
2 TIMOTHY 3:1-5 ESV
BUT UNDERSTAND THIS, THAT IN THE LAST DAYS THERE WILL COME TIMES OF DIFFICULTY. [2] FOR PEOPLE WILL BE LOVERS OF SELF, LOVERS OF MONEY, PROUD, ARROGANT, ABUSIVE, DISOBEDIENT TO THEIR PARENTS, UNGRATEFUL, UNHOLY, [3] HEARTLESS, UNAPPEASABLE (IRRECONCILABLE), SLANDEROUS, WITHOUT SELF-CONTROL, BRUTAL, NOT LOVING GOOD, [4] TREACHEROUS, RECKLESS, SWOLLEN WITH CONCEIT, LOVERS OF PLEASURE RATHER THAN LOVERS OF GOD, [5] HAVING THE APPEARANCE OF GODLINESS, BUT DENYING ITS POWER. AVOID SUCH PEOPLE.
MALACHI 2:14-16 NKJV
YET YOU SAY, "FOR WHAT REASON?" BECAUSE THE LORD HAS BEEN WITNESS BETWEEN YOU AND THE WIFE OF YOUR YOUTH, WITH WHOM YOU HAVE DEALT TREACHEROUSLY; YET SHE IS YOUR COMPANION AND YOUR WIFE BY COVENANT. [15] BUT DID HE NOT MAKE THEM ONE, HAVING A REMNANT OF THE SPIRIT? AND WHY ONE? HE SEEKS GODLY OFFSPRING. THEREFORE TAKE HEED TO YOUR SPIRIT, AND LET NONE DEAL TREACHEROUSLY WITH THE WIFE OF HIS YOUTH. [16] "FOR THE LORD GOD OF ISRAEL SAYS THAT HE HATES DIVORCE, FOR IT COVERS ONE'S GARMENT WITH VIOLENCE," SAYS THE LORD OF HOSTS. "THEREFORE TAKE HEED TO YOUR SPIRIT, THAT YOU DO NOT DEAL TREACHEROUSLY."
*Kindly note the words in Italics, such as UNAPPEASABLE/ IRRECONCILABLE are those used as excuses by most divorcing couples, i.e. “IRRECONCILABLE DIFFERENCES”, but God hates divorce (Malachi 2: 16).
2. DISSECTING THE CHRISTIAN MARRIAGE VOW
Since this article is titled “THE CHRISTIAN MARRIAGE VOW”, let us look at a typical Christian marriage vow.
A typical Christian marriage vow goes thus (I will highlight the key words):
‘I, (NAME), TAKE YOU, (NAME)
TO BE MY WIFE/HUSBAND,
TO HAVE AND TO HOLD
FROM THIS DAY FORWARD;
FOR BETTER, FOR WORSE,
FOR RICHER, FOR POORER,
IN SICKNESS AND IN HEALTH,
TO LOVE AND TO CHERISH,
TILL DEATH US DO PART,
ACCORDING TO GOD’S HOLY LAW.
IN THE PRESENCE OF GOD I MAKE THIS VOW.’
NOTE: THE CONTENT MAY SLIGHTLY VARY ACCORDING TO DENOMINATION, BUT THE SPIRIT OF THE VOW IS GENERALLY THE SAME.
The Marriage Vow is a statement of Terms and Conditions of a marriage covenant, which was put together by church Elders, centuries ago and it is used at church wedding, where the intending couple are made to say such words before men and God as witnesses to their wedding.
The wordings of this vow are in accordance with God’s ordinances for marriage as found in The Holy Bible (Genesis 2:18; Ephesians 5:21-33; 1 Corinthians 13).
I therefore urge all intending Christian couples to painstakingly go through these words together and then take a decision whether they still wish to go ahead with a Christian marriage or any other form of marriage instead. I also urge married couple to periodically go through these Marital Term & Condition and ensure compliance.
Do you wish to have and hold your spouse dearly forever?
Do you wish to stay married to your spouse for better and for worse?
Do you wish to remain husband and wife, even in conditions of sickness and good health?
Will you love and cherish each other always; even when she is not in her best behaviour?
Are you ready to do all the above till death (not by uxoricide or mariticide) do you part?
ARE YOU???
Once you have said your marriage vow before God and men, please do all in your power (including prayer, fasting, forbearance and love to keep it). The vow is straightforward, though not simple to obey, we know that with God all things are possible.
Marriage is a particularly good and honourable institution, but there are Terms and Condition attached to the covenant, which are contained in the words of the marriage vow. Please let us do all we can to keep them. We shall not suffer the consequence of unkept marriage vow, in Jesus name.
MAY GOD BLESS OUR MARRIAGES, IN JESUS’ NAME. AMEN.
