29/09/2019
Respect Your Husband (Even If You Don't Think He 'Deserves' It)
10-30-2015
Nancy C. Anderson
My husband, Ron, admits that he used to be jerk, but I discovered a secret formula that turned him into a loving husband: I started treating him like a VIP! Ron always wanted me to respect him, but I thought he had to earn it and I had to feel it, before I could do it. Wrong.
We women are very good at pointing out our husbands’ faults and failures and punishing them for not meeting our needs, but that only leads to discontent and distance in our marriages. We all know that yelling, nagging, and belittling are disrespectful and ineffective. So I’m suggesting a radical concept: Treat him like a king, and eventually, hopefully, he will begin to treat you like a queen.
Instead of waiting for him earn your respect, behave respectfully and watch him grow into the man God designed him to be.
About 25 years ago, our marriage was on the brink of divorce. I was controlling, critical and disrespectful so Ron was defensive and angry. We were both Christians but neither of us was living a sprit-filled life. I was letting my emotions determine my actions and thought it was Ron’s job to make me happy. Instead of seeking marriage counseling, I found temporary “happiness” in the arms of a coworker. But through a series of miracles (read my book, Avoiding the Greener Grass Syndrome, for the whole story) we made a decision to rebuild our marriage.
While trying to heal, we went to a Christian counselor who read Ephesians 5:33 “Nevertheless let each one of you in particular so love his own wife as himself, and let the wife see that she respects her husband.” Then he said, “Ron, You have not been behaving in a loving way, and Nancy, your behavior has been very disrespectful to Ron.” I knew he was right so I swallowed hard and came up with a plan. Here are three of the ways I began to respect Ron: They are easy to remember because they spell out the goal -- to treat him like a V.I.P.
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