23/05/2026
If Your Husband Behaves Like Frank, Don't Look For A Chike, Do This! - Bisi Adewale
The social media space has been buzzing after the viral comments credited to Frank Edoho where he described himself as a “king of malice.” Many people reacted strongly. Some condemned the attitude of prolonged silence and emotional punishment in marriage, while shockingly, some women justified the alleged infidelity of his former wife with another man named Chike because of Frank’s attitude.
But we must be careful not to normalize destruction because of disappointment.
Yes, malice is wrong. Emotional neglect is wrong. Pride in marriage is dangerous. A husband who constantly keeps malice, withdraws affection, and punishes his wife emotionally is creating a toxic atmosphere. No mature marriage counselor will support such behavior. Communication breakdown can slowly suffocate love in a home.
However, two wrongs can never produce one right.
If your husband behaves like Frank, don’t look for a Chike.
One painful thing about modern relationship culture is that people now use the weakness of one partner to justify the sin of another. A woman says, “He was emotionally unavailable, so she found comfort elsewhere.” A man says, “My wife stopped respecting me, so I cheated.” Society now explains away betrayal instead of confronting it.
Marriage does not work that way.
A difficult spouse is not a license for infidelity.
When your spouse hurts you, the answer is not another man or another woman. The answer is wisdom, communication, counseling, prayer, boundaries, accountability, or if necessary, lawful separation—not secret adultery.
Infidelity does not heal emotional pain; it multiplies it.
Many people think they are escaping loneliness through emotional affairs, but they are actually entering deeper bo***ge. The temporary comfort from a “Chike” may feel soothing at first, but it eventually creates guilt, confusion, shame, broken trust, damaged children, and sometimes irreversible destruction.
The issue is bigger than romance. It is about character.
Anybody can be faithful when marriage is sweet. True maturity is remaining honorable when marriage becomes difficult.
Some people are now teaching a dangerous ideology:
“If your partner is not treating you well, find happiness elsewhere.”
That is not wisdom. That is emotional recklessness.
A lonely wife needs help, support, and healing—not another secret relationship.
A frustrated husband needs growth, wisdom, and accountability—not adultery.
The danger of emotional affairs is that they usually start innocently:
“He understands me.”
“She listens to me.”
“He gives me attention.”
“She makes me happy.”
Before long, emotional dependence becomes emotional intimacy, and emotional intimacy opens the door to physical compromise.
Many homes have collapsed not because there was no love initially, but because somebody looked for a “Chike” instead of looking for solutions.
Let us also speak to men.
A husband must never be proud of malice. Silence is not maturity. Emotional punishment is not leadership. Refusing to communicate for days or weeks can wound a woman deeply. Some men act as if keeping malice is strength, but it is actually emotional immaturity.
Marriage requires communication, kindness, friendship, openness, and emotional intelligence.
A woman who constantly feels emotionally abandoned may become vulnerable to external attention. While that vulnerability does not excuse infidelity, wise men should understand that emotional starvation is dangerous in marriage.
Likewise, women must learn self-control and integrity. Your husband’s weakness should not become your excuse to destroy your home. If he is difficult, seek help. Involve counselors, mentors, spiritual leaders, and wise family intervention if necessary. But don’t secretly build emotional attachment with another man while still married.
Don’t use another person to medicate your marital frustration.
One of the greatest tragedies today is that many people no longer fight for healing; they fight for replacement. Instead of repairing relationships, they search for emotional alternatives waiting outside the marriage.
A “Chike” may give temporary attention, but he cannot give lasting peace built on betrayal.
The truth is this:
Malice can destroy a marriage.
Infidelity can also destroy a marriage.
Both are dangerous.
We must stop promoting a culture where one person’s wrong automatically validates another person’s sin.
Healthy marriages are built by two people who choose maturity even during pain.
If your husband behaves like Frank:
Don’t look for a Chike.
Look for wisdom.
Look for help.
Look for healing.
Look for truth.
Look for counsel.
Look for God.
And if you are the Frank in your marriage, change before your silence destroys your home.
A successful marriage is not built by perfect people.
It is built by responsible people.
©️ Bisi Adewale.
issues
