10/12/2024
Maintaining the family ties; a reflection from the holy Qurâan.
In the Name of Allah, the Beneficent, the Merciful, Peace and blessings of Allah be upon you all.
As an observer, I have noticed a troubling trend, especially among the youth: many are distancing themselves from their families. While some physically leave, others remain at home but are emotionally and socially more distant than those living away. This division is often exacerbated by interactions that breed disunity and chaos, rather than harmony. Upon reflection, it seems the root cause is a belief among some that their families are meddling in their personal affairs, while others simply desire independence and privacy, away from family interference.
This situation calls for immediate reflection and a reorientation of our behavior. We must refrain from actions that cause division within our families and strive for unity. Allah, in His infinite wisdom, has provided clear guidance in the Qur'an. As He says in Surah An-Nisa (4:1): ââAnd fear Allah, through whom you ask one another, and the wombs (family ties). Indeed, Allah is ever, over you, an Observer.â
Here, Allah warns humanity to be conscious of Him in all aspects of life, including the way we treat our kin. The preservation of family ties is crucial, and it is our responsibility to maintain peace, love, and unity within our families. This means that even if we are physically distant, we must ensure we stay in regular contact, check on each other, and support one another in times of need. When we are together, we must assist one another and, if necessary, seek out those who can help resolve any issues. For in the Yoruba tradition, one of the greatest ways to seek favors from one another is through what Allah refers to as -âArhÄm- (kinship ties). To preserve this, we must keep it free from grudges, conflicts, and injustices. We must be just, honest, supportive, and open to the good advice offered by our family members. Remember, Allah is observing everything, and we will be accountable for our actions in the hereafter.
In Surah Al-Maâidah (5:2), Allah further advises us: ââAnd help one another in righteousness and piety, but do not help one another in sin and aggression. And fear Allah; indeed, Allah is severe in penalty.â This verse is a reminder that our support for one another must always be rooted in righteousness, not in wrongdoing. By doing so, we can strengthen our family bonds and continue to cultivate love and peace.
For those who sow discord within their families by spreading hatred and promoting division, Allah warns in Surah Al-Baqarah (2:27): ââThose who break the covenant of Allah after contracting it and sever that which Allah has ordered to be joined, and cause corruption on the earth, it is they who are the losers.â
Here, Allah refers to severing family ties as a grievous loss. Some may wonder: *âWhat are we losing?â* The answer is clear. Such individuals are losing the favor of Allah, the support of their families, and the strength that comes from collective unity. As the Yoruba say, *âĂjĂšjĂŹ owĂł kan kĂČgbĂ©rĂč dĂłrĂâ*â"one hand cannot carry a heavy load on the head," or *âIgi kan kĂČlĂš dĂĄgbĂłseâ*â"one tree cannot make a forest." These proverbs emphasize the importance of unity and collaboration, especially within families. The saying, *âEnĂŹkan kĂŹĂjĂ© Ă wĂĄdĂ©â*â"one person cannot be referred to as a group"âreminds us that strength lies in numbers. Moreover, *âOmo tĂłbĂĄ solĂ©nĂș ĂłsĂ pĂČ ĂŹyĂ kĂłâ*â"those who lose their family will suffer in return"âserves as a cautionary tale: without our families, we are at a great disadvantage.
Lastly, the Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him) said: ââHe who severs family ties will not enter Paradise." This warning is not just for the hereafter, but for this world as well. The consequences of severing family ties begin in this life, and the Prophet's words highlight the importance of nurturing these relationships. Thus, I urge myself and all of you to treat our family members with kindness, to mend any rifts that may exist, and to let go of any grudges. In doing so, we can secure a place in Paradise and avoid becoming those who lose the favor of Allah and the support of our families. Let us also teach our children to respect their families and uphold the values of peace and unity, so that the flag of harmony may continue to fly in our homes.
May peace and blessings of Allah be upon you all.