08/04/2021
A TIME OF DISTRESS
It's been two weeks and some days, Joan has been waking with suicidal thoughts and finally come to a conclusion that the best thing to do is to end her life. Now scheming through the best options which will be suitable, if you could hear her thoughts it's saying "should I go with hanging, or drug overdose, get knocked down by a moving truck" , these all ran through her mind.
Joan has been battling extreme depression since her husband was killed and left five children with a loan she got for him to boost his business three months earlier. You see as life may have it,"one may never expect the unexpected ", Joan's husband has been a two faced man, living an innocent life at home and associating with drug pushers even though he had a legit business kicking good. Well his greedy ambitions caused him his life, when he lost huge KGs of co***ne which belonged to Geraldo a notorious kingpin,being that he couldn't balance up the payment or make the drugs available, they went to his warehouse burnt it and killed him.
Joan, getting news of the happenings put her in an instant coma.
Waking up after two days and remembering the horrible incident that happened to her family and the huge loan left for just her to pay drove her to the depression and suicidal thought.
Life had no meaning to her, she lost much weight.
Joan was a dedicated Christian and so devoted in her walk with God, she paid her tithes, gave offerings, sowed seeds, gave to the needy, she did every good deeds that portrayed her Christian life.
In as much as trial is inevitable in the body of Christ, she felt hers was just way too much and made her think if God actually hates her or if He exist at all.
Being so disappointed that God couldn't look back to all the good things she had done and averted the problems she encountered made her judge God rather quickly and stated how wicked He is.
Any choice she makes will solely be on God.
Thinking of what will become of her children after she dies came through her mind, she believed there'll be good people who will come take them and look after them better (either friends or family), but on second thought she loved her children so much, how broken they'll be to lose both parents within such proximity.
In the height of all her problems she decided to seek counsel, it's either she hears something good or she does what's best for her. She refused to meet anyone she knew lest they think less of her, but called her bossom friend Kate, if she could link her up to someone. Now Kate knew about her crisis but Joan never told her about the su***de considerations she's having, so Kate quickly booked an appointment with her pastor and set to see the pastor after Sunday service.
Now, because of the meeting she couldn't go to her church that Sunday. As service drew to a close she had lots of anxiety, feeling she should just cancel the meeting, but what kept her still she didn't know.
At last, it was her turn, she went into the office, being told to sit, she sat sweating profusely as if she ran from home to church, wondering how She'll tell this elderly man that she wants to kill herself. Now the pastor seeing her and discerning first told her "that to those in dire situation, life most times have no meaning cos of the depression it causes, but it would make much sense if we knew the future and see what will come off that situation and exactly what Gods plan was, as gold has to go through intense heating to be refined, in that same similitude does God operate". The pastor asked her if she ever knew she's meant to marry a pastor and help out in intense spiritual activities, that most times " our purpose are what determines our situations and where we find ourselves, if we miss it at first it'll still catch up in future". Well she was so shocked to hear that cos she knew she was supposed to marry a pastor but she never wanted the pastor wife's stress.
She left his office with so much bewilderment, how did this man know all this? Or could that be the cause of this many misfortunes, could it be punishment from God or is He trying to point me towards the right direction? She kept asking herself.
She became fond of going to Kate's church and joined the welfare group.
Joan has been feeling relieved over the months based on what the pastor had told her and was hopeful over a lot of things and prayers timelessly has been helping her, also few of her late husbands friends has been helping her with finances which she used to improve her business which made better her livelihood.
But the thoughts of her ever getting married to a pastor or which pastor in his right mind will marry her with five children, she finally left it to fate.
Eight months later, the church held a three days conference, several ministers were invited including PST James. Since Joan was in charge of welfare she had unlimited access to all the ministers, taking care of all their necessities till the end of the conference. Cause of how she was so diligent she caught the attention of PST James who happened to be a widower as he lost his wife to an accident during one of her rural outreaches. He saw her devotion and saw his late wife in her and admired all her qualities.
After his ministration on the second day. PST James met the host pastor and asked him about Joan.
Well the host pastor knowing what the good Lord was doing wasn't hesitant to tell him everything about her, including the five children, he immediately told the pastor he should permit him to meet with her, that he wants to marry her and take responsibility of her and her kids.
Joan's pastor wasn't surprised cos he has been praying and hoping what he told her will come forth soon, if it were coming like this during the conference it as well is a miracle, cos that wasn't the first time PST James ministered there and she's not the first lady to attend to ministers. Arrangements were made and PST James met with Joan and declared his intentions.
Being so joyful in her heart to hear, she actually sounded as if she didn't care and that she wasn't ready also a single mum with five kids, if he can stand all that stress. She said all that just to be sure, only for him to say he knew and was all set to do all if she'll marry him. After much meetings and convincing she finally accepted and families were involved.
NB. You see God orchestrates perfectly, He makes things that we feel are unreasonable to bring the best happenings to us.
Our stories are true with just slight changes.
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