This Matter in the Eye of God

This Matter in the Eye of God The purpose of this platform is to provide counseling for people that are facing challenges in their marriage.

By the grace of God, this platform will provide unbiased counsel for couples.

20/07/2025

Celebrating my 3rd year on Facebook. Thank you for your continuing support. I could never have made it without you. 🙏🤗🎉

13/03/2025

https://x.com/TunjiDisu1/status/1898875927515279822?t=D7CxU0T

*We are in the first quarter of the year and I declare this as the “Essay of the year”*

*The First Lawmakers: My Reflection on Home, Discipline, and Duty*.
C.P Tunji Disu.

Law and order do not begin at the police station or the courthouse; they begin at home, in the quiet corners where parents teach their children right from wrong. When this foundation cracks, society inherits the fallout.

As a police officer, I’ve witnessed this truth play out in heartbreaking ways—parents arrive at stations, not with pleas for justice, but with demands for us to parent for them. “I want you to detain my child, I want you to discipline him.” “Torture him,” as though pain alone could rewrite a life long gone astray.

A retired soldier once came into my office in Ago Iwoye, demanding we kill his son, a university student arrested for cultism. His rage was volcanic. Yet, the very next day, that same man returned, food in hand, asking after his son’s well-being. When I joked, “So you don’t want us to kill him again?” his eyes betrayed a truth every parent knows: anger is often the flipside of helpless love.

Years later, I met that young man again in Shagamu. He’d survived his schooling, married, and become a father himself. When I asked if he’d ever want his daughter near cultism, his “No!” was instant.

Another father once begged us to help keep his drug-addicted son for weeks. “Keep him here,” he insisted. We refused—not out of indifference, but because cells are not rehabilitation centres. If anything were to happen to the boy, or if he escaped, who would the father blame? The police. Yet discipline cannot be outsourced. It must be nurtured, patiently and persistently, at home.

This brings me to a delicate truth: many of us grew up in an era where parents and teachers wielded firmer hands. My own father believed in the “reset button” of a good beating—a method he swore straightened my stubbornness (and yes, I laugh about it now). Teachers, too, disciplined freely, with canes and stern words. But times have changed.

Today, some see corporal punishment as archaic, even abusive. I am not here to debate methods—what worked for one generation may not work for another. What matters is engagement.

The problem today isn’t a lack of discipline; it’s a lack of presence. Parents once corrected their children directly, even if harshly. Some have handed that duty to strangers—teachers, police, and social workers. But no institution can replace a parent’s guidance. A child raised without boundaries at home will test them elsewhere—in cults, drug dens, or crime.

To be clear: I am not discouraging parents from reporting wayward children. If your son steals or your daughter vanishes, come to us. We will help. But do not confuse reporting with surrendering. When you hand us your child and say, “Fix them,” you misunderstand our role. We enforce laws; we cannot replace love. We investigate crimes; we cannot teach values.

The retired soldier’s son changed not because we jailed him, but because his father chose to fight for him, not against him.

Parents, hear me: society’s fabric is woven in your living rooms, at your dinner tables, in the quiet moments when you choose patience over fury, presence over absence. The police cannot replace your voice. We cannot instil the values you withhold. Our cells are not classrooms; handcuffs are not teaching tools. When you outsource parenting to the state, you gamble with life—and with the peace of communities.

Yes, parenthood is hard. It is exhausting, thankless, and often terrifying. But it is also sacred. Your children watch how you love, how you forgive, and how you rise after failing. They notice when you prioritize work over conversations, screens over eye contact, and fear over understanding. The boy who joins a cult, and the girl who slips into addiction—they are not born rebels. They are shaped by unmet needs, unheard cries, and lessons left untaught.

To the father who sees his son slipping away: Stay. To the mother who feels out of her depth: Ask for help. To the parent who thinks it’s too late: It isn’t. Discipline without love breeds resentment, but love without discipline breeds entitlement. Find the balance.

My generation’s parents were far from perfect, but they owned their role as first teachers. They scolded, they punished, and they stayed. I urge present parents to do the same—not with the harshness of the past, but with the wisdom of your own heart. Meet your children where they are. Listen. Correct and love.

I write this not as a Commissioner of Police, but as a witness. I’ve seen the worst of humanity—and the best. I’ve watched reformed cultists become devoted fathers. I’ve seen shattered families rebuild. Let us embrace hope and commit to being the first lawmakers in our homes
Thanks.
C.P Tunji Disu.

I saw this post on the platform of a group I belong to; and I decided to share it here because it is about the importance of the role of parents in the upbringing of their children. Read, like and share.

05/10/2024

WORDS FROM A FATHER TO A SON ABOUT MARRIAGE.....

1. My son, if you keep spending on a woman and she never asked you if you’re
saving or investing, and she keeps enjoying the attention, don’t marry her.

2. My son, a woman could be a good wife to you, some could be a good mother to
your children but if you’ve found a woman like a mother to you, your children and
your family, please don’t let her go.

3. My son, don’t confine the position of your wife to the kitchen, where did you get
that from? Even in our days, we had farm-lands where they worked every
morning . . . that was our office.

4. My son, if I tell you that you’re the head of the house, don’t look at your pocket;
look if you will see a smile on your wife’s face.

5. My son, if you want to have a long life, let your wife be in-charge of your salary,
it will be difficult for her to spend it when she’s aware of the home needs and bills
to pay but if it’s in your care, she will keep you asking even when all has been
spent.

6. My son, don’t ever beat your woman, the pain in her body is nothing to be
compared to the wound on her heart and that means you may be in trouble living
with a wounded woman.

7. My son, now that you’re married, if you live a bachelor kind of life with your
wife, you will soon be single again.

8. My son, in our days, we had many wives and many children because of our
large farm-lands and many harvests, there are hardly any land for farming anymore, so embrace your woman closely.

9. My son, under the cocoa tree that I did meet your mother could be your
eateries and restaurants of nowadays, but remember, the closet thing we did there
was to embrace each other.

10. My son, don’t be carried away when you start making more money, instead of
spending on those tiny legs that never knew how hard you worked to get it, spend
it on that woman that stood by you all along.

11. My son, when I threw little stones or whistled at the window of your mother
father’s house, to call her out, it was not for s*x, it was because I missed her so
much.

12. My son, remember, when you say your wife has changed, there could be
something you’ve stopped doing too.

13. My son, your mother, Asake rode the bicycle with me before I bought that
tortoise car outside there, any woman that won’t endure with you in your little
beginning should not enjoy your riches.

14. My son, don’t compare your wife to any woman, there are ways she’s enduring
you too and has she ever compared you to any man?

15. My son, there is this thing you people call feminism, well, if a woman claim to
have equal right with you in the house, divide all the bills into two equal parts, take
one part and ask her to start paying the other part.

16. My son, I met your mother a virgin and I took more yams to her father, if you
don’t meet your wife a virgin, don’t blame her, what I didn’t tell you is that our
women had prestige.

17. My son, I didn’t send your sisters to school because I was foolish like many to
think a female child won’t extend my family name, please don’t make that mistake,
the kind of female achievers I see nowadays has made the male-gender an ordinary
tag.

18. My son, your mother have once locked up the cloth I was wearing and almost
tore it because she was angry, I did not raise my hand to beat her because of a day
like this, so that I can be proud to tell you that I never for once beat your mother.

19. My son, in our days, our women had more of natural beauty, though I
wouldn’t lie to you, some had minor painting of their appellation mostly on their
arms, the ones you people now call tattoo, but don’t forget that they didn’t expose
any part of their body like your women of nowadays.

20. My son, your mother and I are not interested in what happens in your
marriage, try to handle issues without always coming to us.

21. My son, remember I bought your mother’s first sewing machine for her, help
your wife achieve her dreams just as you’re pursuing yours.

22. My son, don’t stop taking care of me and your mother, it’s a secret of growing
old and having children to take care of you too.

23. My son, pray with your family, there is a tomorrow you don’t know, talk to
God that knows everything, everyday.

The purpose of this platform is to provide counseling for people that are facing challenges in their marriage. By the grace of God, this platform will provide unbiased counsel for couples.

18/08/2024

"Sins are like credit cards: enjoy now and pay later." Unknown author. Avoid sins like plagues.

Have a great week ahead.

20/03/2023

FIRST ISSUE FOR COUNSELING
Good morning friends. Please pardon me for the long break. If you remember, I said at the onset of this platform that it is meant for counseling. It is not meant for teaching only. I waited this long to have a case or an issue that I can present here for our examples and our admonition.
Eventually one came up. The person that is concerned here is the woman. She need our counsel.
Remember that wisdom is the principal thing, and the scripture says in all our getting, we should get understanding.

*Question*

*Pls how do you deal with your husband's teenage nieces and nephews that comes visiting and wouldn't help out with anything. They just sit and won't help doing anything. They believe a wife is a slave and they just watch TV. Even when pregnant they don't care to help. Whenever their mum's around they won't do anything and yet they keep visiting. When I complain to my husband he will say they're not my slaves*

Waiting for your response.
Thank you.

Like and share this page with your friends.

12/12/2022

HONOUR GOD IN YOUR BODY
Text: Hebrew 13: 4 "Marriage is honourable in all, and the bed undefiled: but whoremongers and adulterers God will judge."

One of the major challenges that confront marriages today, is the issue of immortality. There have been many cases of adultery on the part of the man and the woman in the recent times. Some men left their wives at home and took other women out to commit immortality with them. Some are caught and disgraced; some lost their lives while in the act. Similar things have happened to some women too. Many women have suffered disgrace when caught in the act and many have lost their lives.

Adultery and fornication are great sins because they are sins you commit against your own body. The Bible makes us understand that our bodies are the temple of God. So, adultery is also a sin against God and God frowns at it. I Corinthians 3:16-17 says:

"Know ye not that ye are the temple of God, and that the Spirit of God dwelleth in you?
If any man defile the temple of God, him shall God destroy; for the temple of God is holy, which temple ye are."

It is a natural thing for a man to have the feelings to be with a woman. It is also natural for a woman to have feelings for a man. That is the the reason God put the institution of marriage in place. The Bible admonishes men and women that cannot do without having s*x to get married. So, it is an aberration in the sight of God when a married man or woman still go out to have s*x with men and women that are not their spouses. So, in I Corinthians chapter 6 verse 9 and 10; God says:

"Know ye not that the unrighteous shall not inherit the kingdom of God? Be not deceived: neither fornicators, nor idolaters, nor adulterers, nor effeminate, nor abusers of themselves with mankind,
Nor thieves, nor covetous, nor drunkards, nor revilers, nor extortioners, shall inherit the kingdom of God."

In addition to missing the kingdom of God, adulterers stand the risk of contacting incurable deseases that will rub them of their good health and consequently, their joy and peace. They also stand the chance of dying untimely and not fulfilling their destiny.
So, if you are reading this piece of writing, and you are married; and you are into immoral relationship, the clarion call to you now is to repent, confess your sins to God and your spouse, ask for forgiveness so that you don't end your life in misery. Amend your ways now, tomorrow may be too late. Heaven is real and Hell is also real.

Choose life in Crist and live.

Like this page and share it with your friends.
Follow my page and make comments.

03/10/2022

YOU NEED THE HELP OF GOD
It is not easy for two people with different backgrounds to live together without having some areas of differences. Because they are two different individuals biologically. The way they reason, their views of life, their likes and dislikes will be different. So, it takes the grace of God for them to be able to overlook the shortcomings of each other in order to have a good relationship with each other. This is applicable to husband and wife.

For you to be a good wife or a good husband, you need the help and the grace of God in your life. 'To err is human, but to forgive is divine.' The grace that you need to be able to forgive offence easily can only be gotten through the Lord Jesus Christ. All the help, all the grace or enablement that you need to be a good wife and a good husband can only be found in Christ. It is the one who has experienced the forgiveness of his or her sin that can find it easy to forgive others. You can not give what you don't have.

For you to receive from Jesus Christ, you must known him and have him as your personal Lord and Saviour. Jesus Christ must also know you because He is a good Shepherd. He knows His sheep, and His sheep know him. Therefore, if you have not given your life to Christ, you need to do so. He is the one that can help you. You need to turn to Him in sobriety and repentance. Confess your sins to Him and ask Him to forgive you. Invite Him into your life and surrender your life until Him. He will forgive you and you will become a child of God through Him. You will also receive the grace to maintain a daily walk with Him. Whatever good thing you asked in His name, God will give to you. He will give you peace, joy, fruitfulness and all the blessings your heart desires. Beyond your earthly needs, you will also have the hope of eternal life in Him because your name will be written in the book of life the moment you give your life to Him. And heaven will rejoice because of you.

See what the Lord Jesus Himself tells you in the Bible passages below:
'Jesus saith unto him, I am the way, the truth, and the life: no man cometh unto the Father, but by me.' John 14: 6.

'Come unto me, all ye that labour and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest.
Take my yoke upon you, and learn of me; for I am meek and lowly in heart: and ye shall find rest unto your souls.
For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light.'
Matt. 11: 28 - 30.

'And whatsoever ye shall ask in my name, that will I do, that the Father may be glorified in the Son.
If ye shall ask any thing in my name, I will do it.' John 14: 13 - 14.

The grace to obey, the Lord release unto you in Jesus name.

Like this page and share it with your friends.

LET LOVE BE WITHOUT DISSIMULATIONTEXT: ROM. 12: 9.Love is the bond of unity in the family. Therefore, it is not an overs...
12/09/2022

LET LOVE BE WITHOUT DISSIMULATION
TEXT: ROM. 12: 9.

Love is the bond of unity in the family. Therefore, it is not an overstatement to say that there is no happy family without love. In fact, it is love that brought the man and the woman together in the first place. It is an expression of love from man to woman and the reciprocation of it that culminate into the establishment of the family. But most of the time, this love begins to diminish after the two get wedded and they begin to live together; and they begin to know each other better. This is not supposed to be so.
Couples are supposed to get closer to each other and love each more as they live together. It is love with dissimulation that brings about disunity in the home. No wonder then, the Bible in Roman chapter 12 verse 9 says:
'Let love be without dissimulation. Abhor that which is evil; cleave to that which is good.'
The word 'dissimulation' when I checked it in the dictionary has the following meanings:
1. The act of concealing the truth; hypocrisy and deception.
2. Hiding one's feelings and intentions.
Nothing erodes love and trust more than act of hypocrisy and deception. When husband and wife begin to conceal truth and hide their feelings and intentions from each other, their family is at verge of collapse if they do not repent and make their way right.
Most of the time, what gives room for dissimulation between couple are envy that leads to rivalry and jealousy that leads to suspicion. Most of the time, it is the men that become envious especially when their wives become financially better than them. Instead of them to see what their wives have as their own, they unnecessarily become jealous and lose their self control and become antagonistic and aggressive. They allow inferiority complex to set in. And because the wives know that their husbands will not be happy if they know about their progress and achievement; they begin to conceal truth from their husbands. Also, if the husband is the type that is in the habit of leaving the family expenses for the wife, the moment he knows that the wife has money, the wife will not let him know when he has money. If the man is the type that is always saying no, to the requests and needs of his wife, the wife may not confide in him. On the other hands; the women are found of suspecting their husbands movements especially when it has to do with female. There have been cases of wives who misbehaved to the relatives and colleagues of their husbands thinking that their husbands were having illicit affairs with them. So, the husbands will start hiding his movements and his relationship with opposite s*x from their wives. Also, if the wife is a wasteful spender of money and time and other resources of the family; the husband will not let her know all his earnings. Both of them will be hiding their feelings and intentions from each other. By so doing, their love will be dwindling little by little.
If you are reading this and what is said here is true of your relationship with your spouse, you need to correct your way. The solution to 'love with dissimulation' in family relationship is to have love and trust for each other. Replace trust with suspicion and you will begin to experience peace in your home. Replace envy with love and support in your marriage and you begin to experience peace and joy in your marriage.

Abhor envy, jealousy and suspicion; they are evil. Cleave to love, trust, support, understanding and forgiveness because they are good for your family well being.

Like this page and share it with your friends.

Thank you. God bless you. Next Monday is another day by the grace of God.

The purpose of this platform is to provide counseling for people that are facing challenges in their marriage. By the grace of God, this platform will provide unbiased counsel for couples.

SUBMIT YOURSELVES ONE TO ANOTHER IN THE FEAR OF GOD. (Ephesians 5: 21-33)21. "Submitting yourselves one to another in th...
15/08/2022

SUBMIT YOURSELVES ONE TO ANOTHER IN THE FEAR OF GOD. (Ephesians 5: 21-33)

21. "Submitting yourselves one to another in the fear of God."

Husbands and wives submitting to one another is a command from the Lord and it is very important that they obey this command so that they can live in peace and harmony with each other. Wives are specifically instructed to submit themselves to their own husbands because 'the husband is the head of the wife just as Christ is the head of the Church.'

22. "Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as unto the Lord.
23. "For the husband is the head of the wife, even as Christ is the head of the church: and he is the saviour of the body."
24. "Therefore as the church is subject unto Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands in every thing."

The family is raised by the husband. The wife is the first member of the family and it is the husband that brought her in. That in addition makes the husband the head, the leader of the family. In order for the wife to enjoy the relationship, she must be willing to do things that are pleasing to the husband. Therefore, let every wife know that it is a matter of duty and responsibility for her to submit to her husband. On the hand hand, God in his infinite knowledge, wisdom and understanding, also command the husband to love his wife like himself. God knows that submissiveness will be easy where there is love.

28. "So ought men to love their wives as their own bodies. He that loveth his wife loveth himself."
29. For no man ever yet hated his own flesh; but nourisheth and cherisheth it, even as the Lord the church:"

A loving husband will relate with his wife in such a way that even when he gives order or instructions, he does it in much love, so much that the wife finds pleasure in carrying them out. He will not establish a master-to-servant relationship with his wife. Even though he is the head of the family, he creates a friendly and peaceful atmosphere that enables love, honour, affection and respect to flow seamlessly from his wife to him. The wife too must not take the love and understanding shown by her husband for granted. She mush cherish and appreciate and reciprocate the love with total submission, care and support for him.
I pray that God will all husbands and wives reading this message to obey the Lord's teaching in Jesus name.
Do not forget to seek counsel when it is necessary. "Where no counsel is, the people fall: but in the multitude of counsellors there is safety.' (Proverbs 11: 14)
'Without counsel purposes are disappointed: but in the multitude of counselors they are established.' (Proverbs 15: 22)
WhatsApp number: 08039608391. Messages only.

Like this page and share it with your friends.

Thank you. God bless you. Next Monday is another day by the grace of God.

The purpose of this platform is to provide counseling for people that are facing challenges in their marriage. By the grace of God, this platform will provide unbiased counsel for couples.

IT IS GOOD TO SEEK FOR COUNSELGood morning to all my friends. Pls accept my apology for my inability to make a post last...
08/08/2022

IT IS GOOD TO SEEK FOR COUNSEL
Good morning to all my friends. Pls accept my apology for my inability to make a post last week. I say thank you to everyone that has read my posts so far. Thank you for your likes and comments. I feel highly inspired by them. God bless you.
At the inception of this page, remember I said, it will provide unbiased counsel for couples; and that by the grace of God, the truth and nothing but the truth shall be told to both men and women and that the truth shall be borne out of the knowledge, wisdom and understanding received from God Almighty, the Owner and the Giver of all good things.
I am glad to tell you that you can now share whatever challenges you are facing in your marriage so that you can receive guidance and counsel on how to overcome them.

I know that many couples are counseled not to tell a third party about their troubles that they should always resolve them between themselves. But the question is: 'what happens when they are not able to resolve issues by themselves?' When they bottle up the issues for too long, it gets to a point where they are not able to bear them anymore, and one of them will 'explode' and most of the time it results into domestic violence. The same people that told them not to tell anyone will blame them for not speaking out in time. My own advice is that you tell someone but don't tell just anybody. Tell someone you know can be of help. Someone that will not add to challenges. Someone who you know will not spoil matter for you. The situation can still be safe.
You need to seek for counsel. That is why the Bible says 'Where no counsel is, the people fall: but in the multitude of counsellors there is safety.' (Proverbs 11: 14)
'Without counsel purposes are disappointed: but in the multitude of counselors they are established.' (Proverbs 15: 22)
So, do you need guidance and counseling? If your answer is 'yes'; then feel free to reach me through this WhatsApp number: 08039608391. Messages only.
Speak out, and 'God shall give you an answer of peace.' Gen. 41:16.
Please note that only people with genuine intentions are expected to contact me. Note also that issues shall be handled individually and confidentially.

Like this page and share it with your friends.

Thank you. God bless you. Next Monday is another day by the grace of God.

The purpose of this platform is to provide counseling for people that are facing challenges in their marriage. By the grace of God, this platform will provide unbiased counsel for couples.

Address

Shop No 6, Block A, MESSIAH Plaza, Ayobo Road, Lafenwa
Atan Ota

Opening Hours

09:00 - 17:00

Website

Alerts

Be the first to know and let us send you an email when This Matter in the Eye of God posts news and promotions. Your email address will not be used for any other purpose, and you can unsubscribe at any time.

Share