06/01/2023
Spoken word poem.' I CAN NOT.'
I Can Not.
No! I Can Not rejoice at your success..
For it puts Light on my failures
I can not rejoice at your goodness, for it faults my badness.
I Can not!
I can not see you Rise
For then.. how will I thrive?
I look to you as a Measuring Board
To assess how far I will Rise
Your limitation is my success
My definition of validation.
For your, Success is my stress!
I watch keenly to observe, as you speak of God's love
I smile, nod, and agree, but Can Not in my heart... See
Yes, I see His Hand, steadily move you ahead of me
I pronounce good-sounding words
Scriptural words I mean not, to some degree.. for I dread
Yet encourage.. but rage, still I smile
Indeed! God is Good I say!
As you Rejoice at God's promises for you
I look the other way, to bring you down I say.
From two sides of my mouth, I speak, well smile.. but it's At you Failing, that's why
Meanwhile.
For you, Friend must fail
For I Can not smile in vain
You run to me for help. Did you Not know of Judas? His betrayal?
For 30 pieces of silver, the Price was Right
He shared bread with his Saviour
As I share mine with you.
Is that pain in your eyes I see?.. Good!
For I bribed to see you fail!
Yet it is I that comforts you, wipes your tears, and kisses your cheeks
For I Failed you, yet I say "hear hear it shall be well"...
For I Can Not rejoice in your Rise!
As I see you Praise.. hmm!
Uprightly you are Raised, still rising, as i plot my vain
Standing solidly on the Rock, Jesus Christ, you Rise
I can not rejoice, though I see my lose
And your gain,
As you Rise again and again, and again
Yet,Still, I Can Not.
Psalms 15.
Angela
I