27/05/2026
The Wrong Side of the Bed
Recently, I woke up in the morning feeling quite grumpy. That wasn’t usual for me. It wasn’t the weather: it was a beautiful Spring day. I wasn’t cross with anyone. I just felt negative about everything. I tried fighting it off, but the feeling didn’t go away all day. When someone asked how I was, I told them that I had woken up on the wrong side of the bed that morning. I even felt irritated at being asked!
In the past, I’ve done a CBT course (Cognitive Behavioural therapy), and I regularly use some of the techniques to ground me when depressing thoughts enter my mind. But this feeling wasn’t me spiralling into depression. I just couldn’t work out why I felt so grumpy. So, I decided I just had to accept it, live with it, and hope that the next day would be different. Thankfully, it was.
What do we do with negative emotions? Do we always try and live in a world of positivity, sticking a smile on our faces even when we feel dreadful, or attempting to think ‘happy thoughts’ when we feel frustrated, or down?
Perhaps if you have days like this, someone will try to encourage you or even tell you to “lighten up!” or say something that shows that they don’t really accept your shadow side, the part of you that isn’t always charming and cheerful. What we really need at those moments is someone to show us empathy and accept the whole of us, rather than attempting to change us into a perfect person.
Perhaps we need to treat ourselves gently too, and even face reality sometimes, and let our inner being handle whatever comes, even if we’re a little bit more difficult to live with now and then. Are we always expected to be patient, polite, and passive, with a side helping of optimism?
Some people think that Jesus was always sweet-tempered and equable. But he wasn’t! He got frustrated, even angry sometimes, and on one occasion, tipped over the money changing tables in the temple in Jerusalem because they had turned a ‘house of prayer into a den of thieves.’ He grieved deeply when one of his friends died.
Those of us who work in the caring professions are sometimes advised to give ourselves ‘grieving times’ when we can consciously and deliberately let go of negative emotions in a safe place. Some people find that keeping a journal can help them work such feelings out. I find that it helps to chat with a trusted friend or family member - someone who can really listen.
And if we realise we are getting cross or low all the time, maybe we need to ask for help, and contact a minister, a doctor, or a counsellor.
Rev Dr Beren Hartless
