Church of Catbutt

Church of Catbutt In the Church of Catbutt, all are welcome. Except spiders, screw those guys. In the beginning there was human, and they were stupid.

So dumb as to forget how to lick themselves they lived in filth, where they were beset by rats, insects, and all matters of plague. One day in there darkest hour the gods and goddesses atop Mount High Shelf took pity on them, and said "Let there be cat!". Centuries later the Church of Catbutt was established to ensure the lacking humans never again forget the lessons and ritual of Cat, and to honor the miracle given to us by the Pantheon of High Shelf, the Cat.

As the races of the world entered into a new golden age, churches to the various gods and goddesses began to spring up a...
11/05/2012

As the races of the world entered into a new golden age, churches to the various gods and goddesses began to spring up across the different civilizations. The cats atop Mount Highshelf realized the threat that could be brought about from the preachings of rogues like Mr. Kitty. If they were to keep order among their race an official religion needed to be established. Through the guidance of King Jimmy, prophets to the ways of Cat were ordered to build churches across the land to teach there beliefs and concrete there messages into hearts of all who would listen. This newly founded organization was known as The Church of Catbutt.

The ensuing battles were more gruesome than either side could have ever imagined. The armies of the living were forced t...
11/05/2012

The ensuing battles were more gruesome than either side could have ever imagined. The armies of the living were forced to fight friends and family alike and with each fallen soldier, a cultist of Mr. Kitty would appear to add it to the ever growing forces of death. Even in there darkest hours the fierce warriors of cats and canines alike fought side by side to defeat a seemingly endless horde. At last, with the guiding hands of their gods and goddesses behind them the races of the living cut a swathe through the undead and struck down Mr. Kitty where he stood, severing the link between his dark magics and his army of the dead. His forces and cult dissolved that day, but the peace his war created among the different races lives on.

Even as the word of Mount Highshelf spread across the world, not all cats accepted their rule. One such cat was known on...
11/05/2012

Even as the word of Mount Highshelf spread across the world, not all cats accepted their rule. One such cat was known only as Mr. Kitty, a powerful lich who built a cult around himself and his necromantic teachings. As the war between the races raged on, he saw an opportunity to grow his own forces. After each great battle came to a close he would stride across the fields of war raising the dead as his own personal soldiers. As his army reached sizes of dangerous magnitude the armies of cats and canines began to see the growing threat. At last the two sides formed a tentative treaty and banded together to strike at the army of undeath before it could set upon them.

One such race who clashed with the ideals of Cat were the furious tribes of the canine races. They saw the cats as weak,...
11/05/2012

One such race who clashed with the ideals of Cat were the furious tribes of the canine races. They saw the cats as weak, selfish creatures only interested in self preservation. Seeing there ideals as inferior and destructive to the developing races they waged a bloody war against the Cats. Seeking favor with the different sides other growing races began to pick sides. Avian and aquatic races joined the canines as a way to seek revenge against the cats over age old broods for territory and resources. The bear goddess Ursa saw wisdom in the tenants and ideals of Cat and sent her great bear armies to fight with the cats, forming a great alliance between the two races that still exist today. Many casualties began to pile up from the battles that ensued, throwing the entire world into turmoil.

As Jimmy's brother Braveheart spread the tenants of Cat to the four corners of the globe a new age of development spread...
11/05/2012

As Jimmy's brother Braveheart spread the tenants of Cat to the four corners of the globe a new age of development spread across the land. Not only for the humans and cats, but other races as well. Many of these newly developing races accepted the laws and deities of Mount Highshelf, others however began to worship new ideals, deities, and idols. There were the canines and insects who saw power in packs or colonies, the serpents who reveled in isolation and solitude, bears who worshiped a goddess that promoted matriarchy and maternal instincts, and even aquatic races who thrived in the very terrains the cats preached as dangerous. As thousands of new races began to develop some seeked harmony with the ways of Cat, others saw only conflict.

The Nine Lives of CatI) Thou shall have no other cat before the one on thy lap.II) All creatures are created equal in th...
26/09/2011

The Nine Lives of Cat

I) Thou shall have no other cat before the one on thy lap.

II) All creatures are created equal in the eye of cat.

III) Thou shall keep the sabbath day holy and it shall be known as [S/C]aturday.

IV) Only in balance, can there exist peace.

V) Be wary of the ground, for it holds the many dangers of the world. There exist sanctity in height.

VI) Stalk thy prey in silence, traverse thy path with caution, and snare thy foes with wit. The bold and reckless are the dead.

VII) Fish were given gills to breathe in water. Cats were given lungs to breathe the air. The seas hold unknowing danger to the reckless and unwitting.

VIII) Cleanliness is next to godliness.

IX) Keep thine claws sharp, and thine tails safe.

Wise in his ways, King Jimmy knew that this peace could not last forever. If the species of the world were to continue t...
26/09/2011

Wise in his ways, King Jimmy knew that this peace could not last forever. If the species of the world were to continue to develop and thrive free of their self destructive ways, they would need to be educated in the ways of the Cat. King Jimmy had much to do however, and could not himself be tasked with teaching these rules to the mortal races, so he chose his brother Braveheart to go in his stead. Revered for being the fastest and most athletic god in all the lands, he became a messenger for the gods. Delivering the ways of Cat across the land.

As time ebbed away in the age of peace, the cats began to reach a new state of bliss. For some their instincts waned, th...
26/09/2011

As time ebbed away in the age of peace, the cats began to reach a new state of bliss. For some their instincts waned, their wits dulled. They began not to fight for survival, but strive to reach a euphoric state of inner harmony. From this dream of prosperity, the cat goddess of beauty and desire was formed, Bella. As she grew in power, all of cat kind continued to develop. They became more graceful in their ways, magnificent in their splendor. The cats had found a new way of life, and they reveled in their rest.

Even as the war between the Cat army and the pest was decided, the cats developed an insatiable thirst. Their desire for...
26/09/2011

Even as the war between the Cat army and the pest was decided, the cats developed an insatiable thirst. Their desire for blood unquenching, they continued to hunt down and eradicate every rodent they could get their claws on. Atop Mount High Shelf, did this not sit well with Mikey, one of the oldest and wisest gods. If the cats were to ever develop and take their place on the world as guardians, they would need to reach a state of peace. Mikey appeared before the army of cats and preached his message of peace. As his words came to a close, he stripped himself of his claws to show his devotion to his cause. The cats were stunned to see such an act, and they began to see the importance in an act of peace. At last a treaty was reached between the cats and their once hated foes. The cats agreed to only hunt and kill for survival, self preservation, and to keep population in check. Outside of the realm of Cat, the pest would be free to live as they pleased. The world at last entered into an age of peace.

The life of a cat is like the two sides of a coin. On one side exist the fearlessness and hunters instinct, on the other...
26/09/2011

The life of a cat is like the two sides of a coin. On one side exist the fearlessness and hunters instinct, on the other the fiery capriciousness and guile. It was from this side of catdom that Goddess Gracie was formed. A trickster amongst the pantheon of High Shelf. she has long been known for her pranks upon the other deities, as well as her wanton burst of energy, spirit, and havoc upon the world. Do not take this as to say she should not be respected, for every side of cat is worthy of reverence. It is simply to say that her favor should be seen as shaky at best, her motives fickle, and her actions worthy of both praise...as well as fear. For as without chaos there cannot exist order; without chaos there cannot exist Cat.

When cats first graced the world of man it was in utter despair. Ravaged by the blight armies of rodents and insects, th...
26/09/2011

When cats first graced the world of man it was in utter despair. Ravaged by the blight armies of rodents and insects, the cats were locked in a losing war to save this planet. At last King Jimmy saw the slaughter upon his world and decided his subjects needed a hunter to lead them in their war. Suddenly the forces of cat were engulfed in a blazing light, and as their daze faded, before them was Mia. The cat goddess of battle and the hunt. Her back arched higher than any mountain as her hiss struck fear into the hearts of all who stood against her. Over the next decade her army wiped out the swarms of pest and saved the creatures of King Jimmy from annihilation. Today she stands atop Mount High Shelf with the other cat gods and goddesses as a symbol of the never failing vigor and courage of cat kind.

Those who obey the tenants of Catbutt, and King Jimmy, are said to ascend to a new state of existence. When their souls ...
26/09/2011

Those who obey the tenants of Catbutt, and King Jimmy, are said to ascend to a new state of existence. When their souls are lost to the world, they shall be reincarnated as cats, to live a life of bliss, capriciousness, and happiness. Those who disgrace the words of Catbutt shall be imprisoned within the Great Litter Box, where they will serve out their term of punishment. The caretaker of the damned is none other than King Jimmy's brother, Tator. God of the underworld. Once their term of punishment is over, the desecrators shall be reborn as the same pest they once disdained. Only then will they at last have a chance to redeem themselves in the eye of Cat.

Address

The Spirit Of Catbutt Lives Within All Those Who Accept It
Cairo
66669

Telephone

1-803-CAT-BUTT

Website

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