Disciples Coaching

06/25/2025

🧡 God’s Design for Connection 🧡

In yesterday’s sermon, Ps. Thom spoke about our deep need for security in marriage—not just physically or financially, but emotionally.

That longing to know:
"Are you here for me?"
"Can I trust you with my heart?"
"Will you stay even when I mess up?"

God made us for connection. From the garden of Eden to the cross, we see a God who pursues relationship and offers us secure love. This is exactly what therapy helps couples explore. It’s about attachment—how we reach for each other, respond when we feel hurt, and repair when things go wrong.

Therapy gives language to the ache many couples carry:
🕊 “I want to feel safe with you.”
💬 “I’m not angry—I’m afraid you don’t see me.”
🤝 “I’m pushing you away, but I really want you to come closer.”

When couples start to understand and respond to these deeper needs with compassion, I’ve seen walls come down and hearts soften. It’s not just therapy—it’s healing that echoes the gospel.

God moves toward us in love. Therapy helps us move toward each other in the same spirit.

💛 There is hope for reconnection. You were created for love that is safe, seen, and steadfast.

01/22/2025

When Life Doesn’t Go as Planned: How to Navigate the Unexpected

🚦 Detour Ahead!
Ever felt like life hit you with a curveball, and suddenly you’re on a road you didn’t choose? Maybe your career isn’t taking off, a relationship feels rocky, your trip is not going as planned, or you’re facing challenges you never saw coming. It’s easy to feel overwhelmed, but here’s the truth: detours often lead to the most beautiful destinations. 💡

Let’s explore how to deal with life’s unexpected challenges—both from a psychological perspective and a Christ-centred view.

🧠 Reframe, Adapt, Grow
1️⃣ Reframe the Narrative: Instead of seeing setbacks as failures, view them as redirections. Ask yourself, “What can I learn from this?” Sometimes growth happens in the struggle.
2️⃣ Practice Self-Compassion: It’s okay to feel disappointed, frustrated, or even scared. Treat yourself as you would a friend going through a tough time. You’re human, after all! ❤️
3️⃣ Focus on What You Can Control: Life may throw storms your way, but you can control how you respond. Take small, actionable steps daily. A little progress is still progress.

✝️ Trust, Surrender, Hope
1️⃣ Lean Into God’s Plan: Proverbs 16:9 reminds us, “In their hearts humans plan their course, but the Lord establishes their steps.” When your plans don’t align with God’s, trust that He sees the bigger picture.
2️⃣ Pray for Peace: When life feels chaotic, prayer can ground you. It’s not about fixing the problem instantly but finding peace amid uncertainty.
3️⃣ Hope in the Detour: Remember, some of the greatest biblical figures (Joseph, Ruth, David) faced setbacks that God used for a greater purpose. Your story isn’t over—God is still writing it. 🖊️

🌀 Practical Tips for the Road Ahead
Journal It Out: Write down your thoughts, fears, and prayers. Sometimes clarity comes when we put pen to paper.
Find Your Tribe: Don’t face challenges alone! Surround yourself with supportive friends, mentors, or a counsellor.
Celebrate Small Wins: Even in tough times, there’s always something to be grateful for. Celebrate the little victories—they’ll remind you of the good in your life.

🌟 Remember
When life doesn’t go as planned, it’s not the end—it’s an invitation to trust, grow, and rediscover yourself.

✨ What’s one detour that taught you something unexpected? Share in the comments—I’d love to hear your story!

01/10/2025

https://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=61557880205809

With years in counselling, I am passionate about integrating faith and mental health. As a Christian clinical counsellor, I specialize in evidence-based therapy. I offer compassionate, integrative support.

12/16/2024

I am starting a new page. Here is the link:

https://www.facebook.com/61557880205809/posts/122165699714262673/?mibextid=rS40aB7S9Ucbxw6v

Welcome to Connect2Flourish! 🌟

I’m so excited to launch this space where growth and healing meet! Connect2Flourish is more than just a page—it’s a resource to help you navigate life’s challenges, build resilience, and thrive.

Here, you’ll find psychoeducation and spiritual formation to empower you with tools and insights to grow emotionally, mentally, and spiritually. Whether you seek to understand yourself better, strengthen relationships, or explore mental health from a faith-based perspective, this is a place for you.

Connect2Flourish is also my counselling page, where I offer support as a counsellor in evidence-based therapeutic practices. My goal is to help you bridge the gap between where you are now and where you want to be—flourishing in every area of your life.

Let’s journey together toward healing, growth, and flourishing! 🌿

💻 Follow this page for updates, encouragement, and insights. If you’re seeking counselling services, feel free to reach out.

11/12/2024

I read the Biography of an incredible woman of true religion: Mother Teresa.

Here are a few notes on the book Mother Teresa: An Authorized Biography by Kathryn Spink

Comprehensive, Compassionate Biography: Kathryn Spink’s Mother Teresa: An Authorized Biography provides a compelling and deeply researched view of Mother Teresa’s journey. With unique access to Mother Teresa’s own letters, confidants, and archives, Spink goes beyond the saintly image to uncover a woman driven by profound faith and compassion. Through this biography, Mother Teresa’s life becomes “a guiding light” (p. xiii) for others, an example of living one’s faith through service.

Faith-Fueled Humanitarianism: Spink portrays Mother Teresa as a beacon of faith-driven compassion, dedicated to serving “the poorest of the poor” in Kolkata and beyond. Her mission was rooted in her understanding of every individual as bearing the image of Christ, following the biblical teachings from Matthew 25:35. Her work with the Missionaries of Charity, founded in 1950, centered around “doing small things with great love” (p. 301), a philosophy that guided her tireless work for marginalized communities worldwide.

Spiritual Struggles and Inner Darkness: One of the most compelling aspects of the book is Spink’s exploration of Mother Teresa’s spiritual struggles. Despite her public image as a source of light and hope, her letters reveal an inner turmoil and deep sense of separation from God. For over fifty years, she faced what she called “inner darkness” (p. 303), feeling a painful sense of distance from the divine. Embracing her suffering as part of her faith, she continued her work with joy, embodying Christ’s words, “I thirst” (p. 305). Spink’s insight into this aspect of her life reveals Mother Teresa’s resilience and commitment, showing readers that “spiritual doubt and suffering can coexist with sanctity.”

Global Impact and Controversies: Spink meticulously charts Mother Teresa’s journey from a young nun in Albania to a globally recognized humanitarian, touching on her founding of homes worldwide for those most in need. Her Missionaries of Charity grew to include “over five thousand nuns and lay co-workers” (p. 127) by 2011, with her influence culminating in her canonization in 2016. While highlighting her tremendous impact, Spink also addresses criticisms of her strict adherence to Catholic doctrine, her approach to charity versus social reform, and her controversial views on family planning, including her preference for the “rhythm method” (p. 62). Though some critics felt she neglected systemic poverty solutions, Spink clarifies that her mission was to provide immediate, compassionate care, believing that “if there are poor in the world, it is because you and I don’t give enough” (p. xiv).

Strengths and Limitations: Spink succeeds in painting a vivid and empathetic picture of Mother Teresa, allowing her humanity to shine through her humility, sense of humour, and inner struggles. Spink’s writing is both respectful and fair, balancing admiration with critical analysis. However, the book’s organization—sometimes shifting between events and people without clear transitions—may leave readers momentarily confused. Additionally, insights into Mother Teresa’s childhood and formative years are somewhat limited, which may leave readers curious about how her early life shaped her approach to faith and service.

Lasting Lessons: Spink concludes with Mother Teresa’s enduring influence on humanitarian efforts and the notion of charity, urging readers to consider their role in a world where “the poor” remain. Her life of humility, sacrifice, and dedication to human dignity calls readers to reflect on the power of selfless love, the courage to serve, and the strength to endure spiritual trials. Spink’s biography ultimately presents Mother Teresa as not only a saintly figure but a deeply human one, whose legacy continues to inspire people of all faiths and backgrounds. Her life challenges us to embody love and faith, as she once said, “to do something beautiful for God” (p. 165).

04/26/2024

We celebrated our son's one-year anniversary of yielding to King a few days ago.

That same day, the psychotherapy field mourns the loss of one of its most influential pioneers: Dr. Sue Johnson.

Through her groundbreaking research, Sue established the pioneering couples therapy method known as Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT).

Her ideas revolutionized the field in multiple ways, introducing a leading evidence-based treatment, exploring innovative applications of attachment theory, reshaping couples therapy, and advancing state-of-the-art digital interventions.

I will continue learning from her work with the goal of helping couples and individuals heal and flourish. My goal is to create psychoeducational material based on her work.

02/28/2024

How is your communication going?

Communication is essential for building trust, intimacy, and security in relationships. Communication also allows us to express our needs, desires, and concerns healthily and productively, which can prevent conflicts from escalating and damaging the relationship. Communication helps us to create, maintain, and alter our relationships as we communicate.

If you want to improve your communication skills in relationships, some tips are:

- Active listening: Be engaged in the conversation, listen attentively, and reflect back on what you heard.

- Not personalizing issues: Avoid blaming, criticizing, or attacking your partner when you have a problem. Focus on the issue, not the person.

-Using “I” statements: Express your feelings and needs using “I” statements, such as “I feel…”, “I need…”, or “I want…”. This shows that you are taking responsibility for your own emotions and requests.

-Being respectful: Respect your partner’s opinions, feelings, and preferences. Don’t interrupt, mock, or dismiss them. Try to understand their perspective and empathize with them.
-Being honest: Be truthful and authentic with your partner. Don’t hide or lie about anything that affects your relationship. Honesty builds trust and credibility.

01/20/2024

Another great new book by John Mark Comer.

PRACTICING THE WAY is a book I felt I could have written... if I knew how to be a good writer. It speaks so much on how I have been practicing "ancient practices" to get closer to God, and I always want more, which is why I am studying devotion of the first century this semester.

If you want an easy read of "how" to practice ways that will help you grow and be transformed, read that book.

Learn More: https://johnmarkcomer.comPracticing the Way is a fresh invitation to apprenticeship and a guide for a more embodied faith. Through rhythms like S...

11/15/2023

Book Recommendation: The Church in an Age of Secular Mysticisms: Why Spiritualities without God Fail to Transform Us.

Here is a great podcast on Andrew Root's new book where he explains why the self has become so important yet so burdened with guilt--and how we should think about both. To help us understand our confusing cultural landscape, he maps spiritualities using twenty of the best memoirs from 2015 to 2020 in which "secular mystics" promote their mystical and transformational pathways. Root concludes with a more excellent way--even a mysticism--centered on the theology of the cross that pastors and leaders can use to form their own imaginations and practices.

In a secular age offering a buffet of spiritualities, all focused on the self and personal transformation, how is the Christian view similar or different tha...

11/02/2023

Book Recommendation: To leave everything behind, as Paul urges us in Philippians 3:13-14, we need to understand our past.

"Unlocking Your Family Patterns: Finding Freedom from a Hurtful Past" is a book written by Dr. Henry Cloud and Dr. John Townsend, who are clinical psychologists and authors known for their work in the field of personal and relational development. In this book, they explore the impact of family dynamics and patterns on an individual's life and provide insights on how to break free from negative family patterns.

The book covers the following key themes:

Understanding Family Patterns: Cloud and Townsend begin by helping readers recognize and understand the patterns and dynamics within their families of origin. They explain how these patterns can shape a person's beliefs, behaviours, and relationships throughout their life.

The Impact of Family History: The authors discuss how the family environment in childhood can influence one's self-esteem, decision-making, and emotional well-being. They emphasize the importance of identifying and acknowledging the effects of these family patterns.

Breaking Negative Patterns: Cloud and Townsend provide practical guidance on how to break free from destructive family patterns. They offer strategies for establishing healthy boundaries, setting limits, and making positive changes in relationships.

Recovery and Healing: The book also addresses the healing and recovery process from the wounds and traumas associated with negative family patterns. It emphasizes the importance of seeking support and counselling when necessary.

Building Healthy Relationships: Cloud and Townsend discuss how understanding and working through family patterns can lead to healthier and more fulfilling relationships in the present and the future.

"Unlocking Your Family Patterns" is a self-help book that aims to empower readers to confront and transform the negative influences of their family history. By providing practical advice, insights, and real-life examples, the authors help individuals recognize how their past experiences have shaped their present lives and offer guidance on how to create a more positive and emotionally healthy future. It is a valuable resource for those seeking personal growth and healing from family-related issues.

11/02/2023

Book Recommendation when you are suffering:

"Walking with God through Pain and Suffering" is a book by Timothy Keller, who was a prominent Christian pastor and author. The book provides a thoughtful and compassionate exploration of the nature of pain, suffering, and the Christian faith's response to these challenges. It is designed to help readers navigate life's inevitable hardships while maintaining and deepening their faith.

The book is divided into three main parts:

Understanding Suffering: Keller delves into the various philosophical, theological, and psychological aspects of suffering. He examines different types of suffering, including physical pain, emotional anguish, and existential questions. He also explores the origins of suffering, both in the world's brokenness and in human sin.

Facing Suffering: In this section, Keller offers practical guidance on how to cope with suffering. He emphasizes the importance of community and supportive relationships and discusses the role of prayer, Scripture, and a deepening relationship with God in times of trial. Keller also explores how suffering can transform and refine our character, making us more empathetic, humble, and reliant on God.

Walking with God in Suffering: The book's final section focuses on the Christian's journey through suffering while maintaining faith. Keller provides insights on maintaining trust in God during difficult times, discussing the biblical concept of lament, the assurance of God's presence, and the ultimate hope of redemption and restoration in Christ.

Overall, "Walking with God through Pain and Suffering" is a comprehensive guide to understanding and responding to suffering from a Christian perspective. It combines theological insights, practical advice, and real-life stories to provide a holistic approach to facing the challenges of life's trials. Keller emphasizes the importance of faith and community in navigating suffering and ultimately finding comfort and hope in the Christian worldview.

11/02/2023

Book Recommendation to become aware of how the church has been complicit in various social injustices.

"Forgive Us: Confessions of a Compromised Faith" is a book written by Mae Elise Cannon, Lisa Sharon Harper, and Soong-Chan Rah, with contributions from Troy Jackson and Peter Heltzel. The book is an exploration of the need for confession and reconciliation within the Christian faith, particularly in the context of issues related to social justice and the church's historical complicity in injustices.

The authors of "Forgive Us" acknowledge the ways in which the Christian church has been complicit in various social injustices, including racism, colonialism, sexism, and economic exploitation. They argue that the church needs to confess its historical failures and seek reconciliation, both with marginalized communities and with God.

The book is structured around confessions, with each section addressing a specific area of injustice or compromise. These confessions include confessing the sin of racism, the sin of silence, the sin of injustice, and others. The authors reflect on the church's historical involvement in these issues and encourage readers to engage in a process of confession and reconciliation.

"Forgive Us" is a call to action, urging Christians to confront their complicity in social injustices, work toward reconciliation and justice, and live out their faith in ways that align with the teachings of Jesus. It challenges believers to examine their own lives, the history of their faith tradition, and the current state of the church, in order to foster a more authentic and just expression of Christian faith.